A complete hellhole. A town full of sordid, tango-tanned scrubbers and thick, ignorant, aggressive scallies. If you've ever seen the Burt Reynolds film 'Deliverance you'll have some idea what these people are like. These slackjawed, shaven-headed morons (otherwise known as 'friendly, witty scousers') are amongst the most violent and bigoted people on the planet. If you have the misfortune to live here ( and I do), for god's sake don't show any individuality, and try not to be from an ethnic background because they'll very probably kill you. Laughably this dump was awarded 'European City of Culture' for 2008, notwithstanding the fact that its so-called 'culture' consists of the 'Beatles' who left here in 1963 and never came back, and some of the worst clubs on earth playing the cretinous 'scouse-house'. Here are some tips for fitting in if you have the bad luck to end up here. These tips should ensure survival:

1. wear a tracksuit (women may wear pyjamas)
2. shave your head (women should be bottle blond)
3. develop a guttural whine (both sexes)
4. gob on the floor frequently (experts recommend at least every 10 steps) (both sexes)
5. try not to finish a sentence without using the F word at least fourteen times (again, both sexes)
6. steal anything that isn't nailed down
7. talk in an extremely loud voice (as you're so 'witty' everyone will want to hear your opinions)
8. glare at everyone in a threatening manner, especially students, 'goths' and anyone perceived to be'gay'
9. Call anyone not wearing a tracksuit 'gay' then beat them up
10. tell everyone how 'scousers are the friendliest people in the world aren't they though?'
The earth has to have an arse and Liverpool is it.
by the masked nanker August 28, 2006
Top Definition
Liverpool, the 5th largest populated district in England. The city sits at the mouth of the Mersey estuary and is currently enjoying a resurgence in fortunes.

Now for all those fools who have criticised Liverpool and her people in these definitions, I think its time to address some grievances. I know many of you'll not like what I have to say, but that’s tough S**T. So without any more chatter lets begin...

Accusation: Scousers are all thieves!
Response: Liverpool has a lower crime rate then nearly all the major cities in Britain. Even taking population in to account, some notable cities which have higher crime rates include Manchester and London.

Accusation: Liverpool has no culture!
Response : The city of Liverpool has more listed buildings than anywhere in the Britain, with the exception of Westminster. This is due to the fact that Liverpool had the worlds largest port from the 19th century up until the 20th. This meant Liverpool was alive with travellers from around the world, all bridging their culture with them. Indeed Liverpool has the oldest Chinese community in Europe, dating back 800 years. Not only this but the area surrounding the famous Liver buildings is a unesco world heritage site.

We have numerous art galleries, two amazing cathedrals, not to mention a great musical heritage. Many Scousers are also blessed with the ability to formulate a coherent argument explaining why idiots who insult our city are the quintessence of stupidity. Did I mention we have three universities, The university of Liverpool being responsible for coining the term red brick.

Accusation: Liverpool is a shithole!
Response: Ever since the second world war, when Liverpool was the second most bombed city outside of London (somebody thought we were important), the city had never recovered. Despite being the centre for Atlantic command and the most important port in the Empire, once the war was over we were left to get on with it. The damage to the city was immense and the city did not receive the investment it needed to recover. When coupled with the decline in shipping, the result was many people out of work living in poverty. During a time when you needed money to get ahead, education was not a top priority and standards fell. As time went by, and due to the ignorance of others, little investment made its way into the city and stereotypes began to form. The city went in to serious economic decline.

However there is now renewed optimism and ever increasing investment in to the city, e.g. the £1 billion pound grovesner Paradise project. The city is not a shit hole, but its not perfect, nowhere is. But I would rather live here than London(filled with many rude people).

Liverpool does have problems, it does have scum, thieves, and idiots but a lot less than some places I can think of. I am not going to criticise other cities because everywhere has its charms. The fact is that Liverpool people are very friendly, we put up with so much criticism that you learn to smile through it. Most Scousers don't hate Manchester by the way, just the idiots that criticise us. We are not racist, but Liverpool FC IS the most successful football club of all time. LOOK IT UP.
Haec otia studia fovent - Liverpool University Motto
by Rob1986 October 17, 2006
A highly underated city in England. Rivals with Manchester, the Scousers and Manks naturally hate eachother.
"Manks are gay", anonymous.
"Liverpool is full of homeless people", stupid mank.
by Insane_splitter March 15, 2005
City in merseyside, north west of england. Great city, lots of things to do. Great nightlife.
'liverpool is great'
by Stephen Robinson December 30, 2005
place full of the nicest people you'l meet in a city
all you steriotypical gimps should actually visit this city before you diss it, but you probably havent even been cos your too lower class
by steve t July 26, 2003
I agree with the other dude, evry1 in Liverpool's naturally nice, evry town has its own scallies, it just so happens Liverpool's have a bit of an accent... they're not all robbing thick low life you know, and they don't all wear lacoste either, Liverpool people are as unique as the city itself. A lovely place to live, proud proud proud...
One of the best modern playwrites Willy Russell wrote many a play originated in Liverpool, Bood Brothers demonstrates the class system and how people are too harsh with assumptions
by Leanna M February 24, 2005
The best city in the world. Liverpool is culturally diverse and the people are a joy to be around. Liverpool is also a fantastic night out mainly due to the fact that Scousers love a good laugh and know how to have a good time. Unfortunatly Liverpool constantly battles with sterotyping usually believed by narrow minded idiots who have never actually visited the European Capital of Culture. Don't get me wrong Liverpool has its problems, but no more than any other big city.
Liverpool also has a unique accent with unique slang terms:
'Boss'- excellent/ really good
'Laaa'- mate/ friend
'bizees'- police
'maa' and 'daa'- mum and dad
by northern_ girl_8 March 02, 2006
A city with a great nightlife, helped greatly by the fact that the (usually aesthetically pleasing) women enjoying which tend to demonstrate a relatively high level of assertiveness, when it comes to initiating kisses and flirtatious actions. Definitely one of the easiest places in which to pull.

Just a shame about the aggressive, mentally-deficient Scallies who inhabit the place.
Fit Scouse bird: "Would you like my tongue down your throat, like?"

Bloke (*overcome with surprise*): "Errrrr"

Fit Scouse bird: "Well tough shit; you're getting it!"
by Mark May 06, 2004
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