Top Definition
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
Sorry, this is the best analogy on the subject of linux, has been around for a long time, and is anonymous.

BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
by danw December 22, 2003
A kernel that many operating systems called "linux distros" are based off of. Linux is known mainly for being open source, and in most cases, also free to use. Many linux distros are do-it-yourself operating systems, and some come with a full GUI, and many automatic features, which makes it easier for normal people to use. These easy-to-use linux distros are commonly used as a price-effective and useful platform for public and private access to computers, and on servers. Many people criticize this operating system for not being able to run most applications, specifically games. Linux is somewhat limited to which applications it can run, but many people have made alternatives to those applications, and even ways to run those applications inside linux. In fact, many popular games can run on linux, contrary to the packaging of the game. Overall, linux is a great kernel that formed many popular and useful operating systems, which are in use by millions of people today. Linux is also available in a liveCD format, which lets users try linux before they fully install it.
"Hey, can you help me with my computer, windows crashed on me again."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I use linux, and I'm not too fond of microsoft products."

"Dude, linux sucks! It can't even run games!"

"Actually, unless you're planning to install every game on the market that was ever made, linux is actually a pretty good gaming platform. The only advice I can give you is to use linux. Here's a LiveCD"

"Okay, I guess I could try it."

2 days later.....

"What the hell man, when I tried to instal your stupid linux, it erased my windows!"

"Did you read the back of the CD? It clearly says that by default it'll erase all existing software, unless you partition your drive or install it inside windows. See, it says it right here on the CD."

"Well, it should've warned me!"

"Dude, maybe you should've just RTFM"
by 0per4t0r August 13, 2009
An alternative operating system to that of windows or mac. Can be used for servers, mobile phones and digital tv recievers. Can be customised to suit the user. Is based on Unix, Written by Linus Torvalds.
There are about a hundred different versions of linux distributed to millions of people on billions of computers-so you can bet your ass that one os will be different from the next. Linux allows the user to re-program the software to suit them-this is how many software glitches are sorted out with one person programming one part of the system while another person focusses on another part. Windows only allows this to an extent (ie changing a user name or startup sounds or desktop background etc) so for this reason many software bugs cannot be fixed and hence windows being so unstable. Linux is good for driving mobile phones or powering servers but is impractical for use with the average computer gamer/secretary/photo editor. In other words, a person with programming experience would opt for Linux as they can customise it to suit them, whereas a person wishing to read email or surf net would opt for Windows or Mac as they will not have to know anything about programming first.
Newer versions of linux can make applications (ie Windows media player or Mac video editor) run with Linux.

Note: A particularly bad combination is: Dell computer, Pentium 4 CPU and Windows XP. Try switching the combination (ie fit an AMD Athlon CPU)-this i am pointing out as many unstabilities are rooted to the CPU and combination of hardware components, rather than the actual software itself.
by Stevie RC July 21, 2005
Simply put, it's an operating system that you can download (legally.) I's most commonly used by experienced computer users because it doesn't hold your hand as much as Windows does. It also requires emulators to run Windows programs. The source code for the kernel is available somewhere. The kernel was written in the early 90s by one Linus Torvalds in Finland, and is released under a "General Public License."
How's that? No airline suff, just the real definition.
by Utz89 June 27, 2005
The best operating system (OS) in the world.
I love booting into knoppix linux with my live CD and hacking from an internet cafe'.
by l337994 May 02, 2005
A half-finished piece of shit for an operating system that's a pain in the ass to install, a pain in the ass to use, and a pain in the ass to remove from the hard drive.

On the bright side, Linux makes an excellent disk partitioning tool.

If Linux was designed primarily for network servers, then it doesn't make any sense to market it as a desktop replacement, especially if the applications suck, and hardware detection is nonexistent.

I wasted half of a 14 CDRs of a 25-CD spindle on 9 variants of Linux. 6 of them didn't work because the computer shut down when the installation detected my video card. 2 variants wouldn't detect my soundcard, modem, USB scanner, and USB drive. Driver installation didn't do jack shit to solve the problem. The ninth variant detected my modem and USB drive, but kept playing this wierd, chaotic, repeating tune through my soundcard. Unfortunately, there were no sound drivers to resolve the issue.

Windows 98 beta detected all my hardware, and driver installation was a cakewalk.

Thank GOD I bought my CDRs cheap from Big Lots. But still that was a waste of CDs that I could have filled with MP3s and the best freeware programs available for Windows.

May the Linux programmers burn in Hell.
An everyday example of how Linux dependency/lib file Hell prevents people from using Linux:

1) You download libkmidiplayer2.2.4 for Linux, but to install it, you need :
libmidi.so.1
libsound.so.2

2) You download the two libfiles, but in order to install libmidi.so.1 you need;
libc.so.6
libkernel.so.3
libsynth.so.0
alsa2.1.3
libfm.so.0

3) To install libfm.so.0, you need:
libkmidiplayer2.2.4

4) What the fuck?
by Bert March 17, 2005
At least linux isn't backing up the TCPA, fuckheads. If microsoft were in control all you could do on computers is sit on your ass and play your little games all day.
PENGUIN POWEr.
by restin256 December 22, 2003
the best operating system for people who really want to use a computer
man... this new linux server is fast.... it only installed in a few minutes and it dont hog RAM like windows server 2003 did.... and you can completly customize the kernel!
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