Top Definition
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
Sorry, this is the best analogy on the subject of linux, has been around for a long time, and is anonymous.

BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
by danw December 22, 2003
Linux is simply a word used to get OS Fanboys to spark a religious war.
Linux Fanboy: Linux, enough said
Windows Fanboy: MS rules and Linux sucks because no one uses it
Macintosh Fanboy: I'm cooler than the both of you because my OS is shiny
#fanboy #macintosh #windows #pc #linux
by everybodyblows April 04, 2009
n. An example of a freeware operating system. Idealogically beautiful, but practically a bit of a hassle, this fast-growing operating system is often used by computer programmers. In fact, almost all programmers that work for Microsoft do all their work on Linux boxes...hmm...

My impression of Linux is that it's vastly improved but still not as user-friendly as Windows. I continue to hope that it completely overthrows the "evil Microsoft empire" as a large triumph for the free software movement, but it's not going to do that anytime soon unless it cleans up (from a non-programmer standpoint) some of the difficulties of installing programs.

Keep on, brave penguin!
I know Linux has something to do with GNU, but I can't remember the exact relationship...
by Bad Grammar Must Die April 16, 2003
A monolithic kernel designed by Linus Torvalds Torvalds which is now maintained by hundreds of developers worldwide. Software is used around the kernel to form a Linux distribution.

Linux is designed for intelligent beings who can read. Often, Linux is used by morons who think after mastering the Windows XP control panel they are capabl e of using an operating system that requires one to think; this does not include morons who couldn't administrate themselves out of a brown paper bag, they then proceed to complain endlessly after getting nowhere randomly clicking around KDE.
I dont want to read the manual, cant you just tell me what I have to double click?
by Tux August 28, 2003
The only free Kernel that can be used frequently and is consistantly updated and used by many very good universities and colleges. It is very good for word prosessing, server maintenance and will never crash unless there is a serious problem.
It is often considered 'Shit' but is one of the most stable O/S or Kernals around.
Windows user: (snort) Windows XP with the media addition aswell as Windows Media Player with a fuckload of spyware is better than the smooth running, user friendly linux.
linux User: Did you just contradict yourself?

Windows: Error #20983746251837: Cannot find file that is existant on Hard disc that was working one minute ago but now I've acidently fucked it up.

Linux: Cannot find file. Please remount hard disc.
by Anonymous October 12, 2003
In ascending order of ignorance:

Computer Science Professor/Student:
"That cool computer thing I helped make."

Developer/Programmer:
"Heaven."

High-end user:
"The system I haven't rebooted for three years which automatically manages my entire life. Also my life configuration isn't forwards incompatible with Life Vista."

Low-end user:
"Not only does the (good) software I used to use on Windows come free with it, but when you get used to everything else (or configure it to your tastes) it's actually far better than Windows. I've switched."

No-Brainer:
"I can check my email, watch my DVDs and listen to my music without "Illegal Operations" or worrying about configuring my "firewall""

Beetle:
"What? Can I eat it?"

Windows advocate (who does not know what a file is without a cryptic three letter code at the end. How does MP3 stand for the third (audio) layer of the Motion Picture Expert Group's first codec?!):
"That pile of crap "recompile your kernel" thing where you have to type everything and my favourite 'Yet Another First Person Shooter Which Is Just Quake 3 With Different Guns' doesn't even work on it because a) It is obviously the OS developer's fault if third party software works on it or not and b) I haven't even been on transgaming.com. Now I'm going to go to as many public message posting systems as possible and contradict myself at least three times per sentence as I rave about how it doesn't even have graphics (which microsoft obviously invented), it doesn't have any software to stop my personal information from being sent to the developers which shouldn't happen anyway, you get all of these technical system options to choose without a decent option like just resetting anything you choose to give you a US keyboard when you reboot (after a nice BSOD) and all of it's graphics are a rip off of windows. Especially all of the stuff windows ripped off from Apple. It's even used on crap "Power PC" and "ARM" and stuff which is crap because windows can't use them."

Of course this neglects the people who use/d other systems (yes, there are alterantives to UNIX and windows!) who lie just above the middle and say things like "Wow, this has loads of really good features. Pretty much like my old OS." and "I think it's good, but it's pretty much like my current OS." Or the Mac users who lie above the beetles and say things like "Aaaagh! It gives me a choice!" and "Why the hell am I using this when my computer came with virtually identical MacOSX?"

Oh yeah, and I don't count "Blue, silver or green" as a customisable interface. 'Skins' were invented by people who thought their own OS looks crap. Oh wait, windows isn't your own, you cannot change or sell it!
I had to change the configuration files on Linux, but that's OK considering I couldn't change anything at all on windows without decompiling and recompiling an executable and it's dynamically linked libraries, resulting in a changed picture and a lawsuit. God Linux is SOOOO complicated!
by Chris Warburton September 17, 2005
Windows has a few good qualities and characteristics: it's good for web surfing, listening to mp3's, watching porn movies, opening .vbs email attachments, defining the acronym B.S.O.D., setting records for security vulnerabilites and patches, data loss and corruption, helping M$ in monopolizing the market, etc...

Conversely, Linux has a few good qualities and characteristics as well: stable, robust, and free...
1. rm -rf /mnt/half-ass-os/WINNTWindows
2. for corrupt_files in /windows/*; do
cat /dev/null > $corrupt_files;
done;
3. find / -name Linux -type OS -exec mv {} windows \;
by Z'Penguin May 07, 2003
An amazing OS that installs flawlessly on most of today's hardware and runs faster while doing it. People who complain about it are too used to windows and to lazy to give something different a chance. People who tell you it won't work with your hardware have lied to you, with the exception of some WiFi cards all your hardware WILL work.
I installed SuSE Linux 10.0 on my desktop computer:

Nvidia GeForce FX5500 - autodetected and installed
Soundblaster Audigy LS - autodetected and installed
CD Drive and DVD drive/CD burner - autodetected and installed
Keyboard/Mouse/Monitor - autodetected and installed
Belkin WiFi card - autodetected and installed

Installed Counter-Strike: Source with Transgaming's Cedega through Point2Play and it works perfectly. I also get better FPS in game than I ever did on Windows. When I install new programs or games to my PC, I no longer need to "reboot for changes ot take effect" - thank God.

"I am proud to be 100% Microsoft free!"

#linux #linus #gpl #gnu #operating system
by vendetta red October 19, 2005
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