Top Definition
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
Sorry, this is the best analogy on the subject of linux, has been around for a long time, and is anonymous.

BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
by danw December 22, 2003
A non-operating system that still hasn't lived up to its excessive hype, because the geeks in the community are;
(a) too busy arguing with each other over which distro is the best,
(b) blaming Microsoft even for ridiculous things such as huricanes, tsunamis, and last year's boom of aphids, and
(c) producing variants of Linux that are completely incompatible with each other.
While distros of Linux such as Mepis and Ubuntu are showing some promise, it would be logic-defying if the Linux community FINALLY produces something that actually is worth using on the desktop without any program installation hassles by 2010.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the REAL cost of running Linux on the desktop:

Linux distro: $0.00 to $99.99 if you have high-speed internet access, $9.99-$179.99 if you don't.
Linux manual: $19.99 to $79.99
New Modem (because "winmodems" don't run under Linux): $29.99 to $59.99
New Soundcard (because the soundcard you have is not supported): $19.99 to $89.99
New Internet Service Provider (because no popular ISP supports Linux) $7.99 to $39.99
(Note: The non-popular ISPs often don't have free minutes and will charge you like they would a regular phone call).
New graphics-card (because your integrated video card is not supported) $29.99 to $199.99
New printer (because your printer is not supported) $39.99 to $159.99
New scanner (very few are Linux-compatible) $49.99 to $199.99
The sheer frustration of finding out that, despite buying the new hardware and spending weeks of relaxation time tinkering with the command-line code, Linux STILL refuses to perform on the same level as OS-X or Windows XP: Priceless
Windows XP: $99.99 to $199.99
Cost of new hardware (all the hardware you bought for Linux is Windows-compatible) $0.00

And this, my friends is the true cost of running Linux on the desktop.
by former penguin May 14, 2005
A half-finished piece of shit for an operating system that's a pain in the ass to install, a pain in the ass to use, and a pain in the ass to remove from the hard drive.

On the bright side, Linux makes an excellent disk partitioning tool.

If Linux was designed primarily for network servers, then it doesn't make any sense to market it as a desktop replacement, especially if the applications suck, and hardware detection is nonexistent.
I wasted half of a 14 CDs of a 25-CD spindle on 9 variants of Linux. 6 of them didn't work because the computer shut down when the installation detected my video card. 2 variants wouldn't detect my soundcard, modem, USB scanner, and USB drive. Driver installation didn't do jack shit to solve the problem. The ninth variant detected my modem and USB drive, but kept playing this wierd, chaotic, repeating tune through my soundcard. Unfortunately, there were no sound drivers to resolve the issue.

Windows 98 beta detected all my hardware, and driver installation was a cakewalk.

Thank GOD I bought my CDs cheap from Big Lots. But still that was a waste of CDs that I could have filled with the best freeware available for Windows.

May the Linux programmers burn in Hell.
by boris March 02, 2005
An operating system which people use when they want to pretend they know what they are on about. 95% of all games and worth while software doesnt work on Linux.
Only useful as a server side OS as web hosting isn't the most demanding task for an OS.
I r0x0r coz 1 j00z 1inu><
by PlayaX August 22, 2004
A OS alternative to Windows used by Adults or kids tryin to look like they know a lot aboout computers when they wouldnt rather make life easier and click away...
Marky-Randolf III recieved Linux as a 3rd grade graduation gift so he can hack,spam,break laws,and have a preset sense of intelligence before anyone else. April Fools?
by Anti-gates also December 14, 2003
an operating system used by people who think they are cool. it usualy does not work properly or uses a great amount of skill
linux blows like macs but windows acually works
by Dr Dressup January 26, 2005
A method of torturing a person who is just trying to learn more about computers. The folks who program this system assume that you know everything about computers, and will hurl insults at you is you even dare to ask them a question relating to running the OS.
Linux is NOT an efficient, user-friendly operating system. It is a nightmare disguised as a blessing.
by frustrated newbie March 31, 2003
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