If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
Sorry, this is the best analogy on the subject of linux, has been around for a long time, and is anonymous.

BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
by danw December 22, 2003
Nerds' best friend.
Linux is a great invention for asocial and greedy people.
Nerd1: Do you think Linux is better than windows?
Nerd2: (No answer, Nerd1 has no friend and speaks to himself)
by SidneySid February 21, 2005
A stable, (usually) freeware, operating system, limited in usefulness to most users. Good for running servers snd business machines but has major inherent flaws that prohibit it form ever becoming a truly mainstream OS for personal use. Its just too bulky and user-unfriendly to ever gain the popular eye.
Linux is a cool idea, but since its a pain to install and operate, and incompatible with nearly all software on the market, itll never get far beyond the geeks and zealots.
by Bogus December 14, 2004
An operating system like Windows or Macintosh, owned by Linus Torvaldis, who is obsessed with penguins. His "mascot" dude is a penguin named Tux.
Linux has some cool games and programs.
by Elijah January 09, 2004
an operating system, created solely for computer geeks like my sister to argue about
Computer Geek 1: Linux is cool
Computer Geek 2: Linux is lame
by connman August 06, 2006
A poor substitute to the God of computer software: Microsoft Windows.
"Will trade Linux for food."
"Shoo, you filthy beggar!"
by Thies October 27, 2005
A half-finished piece of shit for an operating system that's a pain in the ass to install, a pain in the ass to use, and a pain in the ass to remove from the hard drive.

On the bright side, Linux makes an excellent disk partitioning tool.

If Linux was designed primarily for network servers, then it doesn't make any sense to market it as a desktop replacement, especially if the applications suck, and hardware detection is nonexistent.

I wasted half of a 14 CDRs of a 25-CD spindle on 9 variants of Linux. 6 of them didn't work because the computer shut down when the installation detected my video card. 2 variants wouldn't detect my soundcard, modem, USB scanner, and USB drive. Driver installation didn't do jack shit to solve the problem. The ninth variant detected my modem and USB drive, but kept playing this wierd, chaotic, repeating tune through my soundcard. Unfortunately, there were no sound drivers to resolve the issue.

Windows 98 beta detected all my hardware, and driver installation was a cakewalk.

Thank GOD I bought my CDRs cheap from Big Lots. But still that was a waste of CDs that I could have filled with MP3s and the best freeware programs available for Windows.

May the Linux programmers burn in Hell.
An everyday example of how Linux dependency/lib file Hell prevents people from using Linux:

1) You download libkmidiplayer2.2.4 for Linux, but to install it, you need :
libmidi.so.1
libsound.so.2

2) You download the two libfiles, but in order to install libmidi.so.1 you need;
libc.so.6
libkernel.so.3
libsynth.so.0
alsa2.1.3
libfm.so.0

3) To install libfm.so.0, you need:
libkmidiplayer2.2.4

4) What the fuck?
by Bert March 17, 2005
Contrary to what is claimed by many Windows-haters, not all versions of Linux are particularly good. The price you pay a stable OS is the amount of fuss and bother you undergo in trying to find a decent version of it!
I installed the free version of Linux that came with the book "Linux for Dummies". It didn't work. I am still trying to work out if there is any irony in the preceding two sentences.
by Dr Pinch September 15, 2004

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