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1.
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
Sorry, this is the best analogy on the subject of linux, has been around for a long time, and is anonymous.

BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
by danw December 22, 2003
4986 809
 
78.
Crappy computer software that isn't compatible with anything.
Jenny: facebook does not agree with my computer
Hovan: y?
Jenny: it's a linux
Jenny: nothing agrees with my computer
Hovan: boo
by divegrl6 August 18, 2009
7 14
 
79.
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...


Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.


Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport, the staff help you to your seat. When in the airplane, you experience a little turbulence. You had to pay extra for a plane to fly next to you to protect you from viruses, but it's worth the danger to be in a plane with such a comfortable seat.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. Don't even think of coming on this plane unless you have a degree in physics, engineering and metalworking. You have to assemble your seat out of ill-fitting parts that take hours to find. Your chiropracter gave you a special cushion you have to use during flight, but the staff gently remind you that you need to spend hours looking for a compatibility layer to use it with. You nearly have your seat set up, bar one piece. So you ask the person next to you if he knows where any other pieces are, and he replies with "STFU No0B!! U R A LAMER!!!" You wish you flew with Windows XP.
Linux is useless for everyday programs. For servers, why not, but not every person's XP crashes. In fact, I haven't had a crash in Windows since 98. My Linux is so screwed up though, I can't even copy and paste.
by dRyx. July 22, 2008
11 18
 
80.
The best way to spam urbandictionary.com with propaganda and idiotic bullshit
Linus Torvalds is our god, long live Linux, windoze is for losers that don't know how to use a computer.
by discostewpid January 15, 2012
1 9
 
81.
Incredibly brilliant and stable OS designed for people who know how computers work if your too stupid then fine stick with windows XP don't complain after you can't compile the kernel source code that you accidently downloaded instead of the pre-compiled version. I'm running a version of linux as I type this (Knoppix)
knoppix runs from CD so you put it in knoppix loads take it out re-boot and then windows is back simple.
having said that though as most programs run only on windows keep it but only if it's XP.
Knoppix, Red Hat, Debian etc.
by Forcemaster August 09, 2004
21 29
 
82.
1. An operating system kernel that was developed in 1991 in Helsinki, Poland by a programmer by the name of Linux Torvalds. Torvalds made an interesting choice as to making the kernel open-source, meaning that anyone was allowed to look at the kernel's code, use it, modify it, and/or redistribute it. Over the years, the kernel was patched, modified, and redistributed so many times that it's more stable and secure than Microsoft's Windows NT kernel, which has been doing nothing but collecting dust over the last 20 years.

2. A series of UNIX-like operating systems made using the Linux kernel. Ubuntu, Debian, Fedora, openSuSE, Slackware, Mandriva, Gentoo, these are all popular Linux distributions. Some are made for power-users, others are made for the average user, looking for a better computing experience. Linux has a horrible reputation about not being user friendly, and that's partially true. But more recent versions of Linux such as Debian, Ubuntu, Mandriva, etc. are very user friendly, and have graphical tools so that you wouldn't have to use the command line utility most of the time.
Linux was and always will be the pioneer of the open-source world. The kernel's currently up to release 2.6.39.

Nearly everything we use today, be that calculators, ATMs, or even your own smartphone is powered using Linux. 10 of the world's fastest supercomputers use Linux as its kernel.

GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the operating system and apps. "GNU/Linux" is the way lawyers say it in court.
by teh5abiking July 22, 2011
5 14
 
83.
The operating system* little boys employ in a vain attempt to appear computer-savvy due it's perceived complexity, which is really just a convoluted user interface stemming from the lack of higher cognitive ability found in Loonux 'programmers'.

As with any underdog**, you will find a horde of fumbling zealots defending Loonux, who, rather than pose arguments with a rational and verifiable basis, will simply parrot ignorant statements against the operating system(s) that put Loonux to shame (e.g, Windows). More often than not, these lower beings will resort to childish name-calling and irrelevant technical references which further compacts their own ineptitude.

* "Linux" as referred to here is of it's derivatives based on the Linux kernel.

** Windows currently holds 94.3% market share vs Linux's < 1% (As of May, 2009)
If you're ever in need of a guideline on how to write sloppy, inefficient, spaghetti code, then see: linux.org
by A.Senior.Software.Engineer May 10, 2009
6 15
 
84.
A poor substitute to the God of computer software: Microsoft Windows.
"Will trade Linux for food."
"Shoo, you filthy beggar!"
by Thies October 27, 2005
10 21