Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
To all of you that think that it's not compatible with anything, use the fucking program called Wine on there, it's a nice Windows emulator.
Joe: "Get Ubuntu Linux"
Collin: "I'll try it"
1 Week later
Collin: "OMG! This is so much better than Windows or Mac!"
Also worthy of note is that its supporters make use of the "m$" abbreviation every chance they get, hoping they'll appear to be "fighting the machine." But contrary to popular belief, having Linux does not make you a 1337 h@x0r, and being a 1337 h@x0r does not mean you use Linux.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!
Typical Linux users are a sensitive lot. This is because their entire self-esteem is tied up in knowing obscure piping and scripting techniques that nobody in the real world gives a fuck about. Supposedly, this makes them smarter. If a Linux user feels threatened about the coming obsolescence of his beloved OS, untold havoc will be unleashed. This will eventually produce lulz. For this reason, we reveal here the easiest ways to troll a Linux message board or IRC channel.
*If the subject of distros comes up, reply, "Yes, but what can <insert distro name> do that Ubuntu can't do?
*Claim that the Windows kernel design is better than Linux.
*Warn everyone that Mactel will destroy Desktop Linux
*Ask "But can it run BSD?"
*If the subject of CLI comes up, reply, "But you could do that with DOS twenty years ago!"
*Predict that Solaris will eventually destroy Linux
*Make completly baseless claims that you are the CEO of a major corportion (don't specify which one!) and say you see no future in Linux.
*Tell everyone that Linux isn't ready for grandma
*Quote Theo de Raadt
*Remind all Linux users that they are still virgins
*Point out that the BSD License is infinitely superior to the GPL
*Incessantly ask every user about what parts of the code in their kernel were stolen from SCO.
*Let it be known that you appreciate Clippy
*Ask if Wine can run <insert program here> yet.
*Use the phrase "total cost of ownership."
*Ask for advise on finding quality Linux games.
*Say that Linux is inferior for development because it doesn't have Visual Basic .NET
*Make it known that $699 (the fee you legally owe SCO if you use Linux) is $300 more than the price Windows Server 2003 Web Edition, which has more features, greater stability, and has been shown time and time again to have a higher ROI.
*Update your drivers.
*Brag about your kernals.
*Say you use Linux (which will get your ass kicked)
*Eat KFC chicken around the clock.
*Manually edit config files
*Keep your virginity
*Uhh, well thats pretty much it.