Top Definition
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.


Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
Sorry, this is the best analogy on the subject of linux, has been around for a long time, and is anonymous.

BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
by danw December 22, 2003
A free operating system, comparable to Windows.

To all of you that think that it's not compatible with anything, use the fucking program called Wine on there, it's a nice Windows emulator.
Collin: "My mac is so slow and annoying, it can't do shit"
Joe: "Get Ubuntu Linux"
Collin: "I'll try it"

1 Week later
Collin: "OMG! This is so much better than Windows or Mac!"
by mrbigfishy June 18, 2009
An operating system-whoops, I meant KERNEL-mainly used by teenagers who think it makes them edgy and alternative (just like listening to the Arctic Monkeys). Funnily enough, they only ever install it on a hard drive partition. So when it inevitably fucks up they can fall back on Windows (which will also fuck up eventually).

Also worthy of note is that its supporters make use of the "m$" abbreviation every chance they get, hoping they'll appear to be "fighting the machine." But contrary to popular belief, having Linux does not make you a 1337 h@x0r, and being a 1337 h@x0r does not mean you use Linux.
*downloads and attempts to install a Linux distribution*
by SomethingWitty June 11, 2008
Linux - free, stable, open-source operating system - and that’s about it.

Not as good as people make it out to be, very undeveloped and bad compatibility weights this OS down.

The reason that Linux does not have as many viruses, trojans, spyware, etc as your precious "Windoze" is because it is not incompatible with these programs - Linux is not popular enough... yet.

"Linux-text-only" was a long time ago noobs, get with the times please.
Most noobs on urbandictionary haven't even gotten past burning their .iso image to a disk - too hard.

I bet they buy an APC magazine with a live-CD and call Linux slow because they don't even understand how RAM swap files work.

I myself prefer UNIX without any kind of GUI.
by Luigi9849 July 31, 2005
What I use for development of HTML, JAVA, PERL, C, C++. Very stable, but does not have much software that can run on it, because of lack of knowledge about it on the part of the general public. Great for webservers, but until people decide to create software for this system, buggy, backdoored systems like windows will have to do. Linux is often used by professional developers, webmasters, advanced computer users, and people who are able to get off their arse and install it for the sake of their privacy. Some versions (i.e. Red Hat) are relatively easy to install, and can be found free in libraries. Other 'distros' can be found on the internet, but may be harder/easier to install. It can be installed on very low end computers with under a GiG of drive space, and 32k ram. So stable, a Win 9.x. demo cannot crash it =)). Not used often because many people have no idea it exists (that's changing though).
a good OS for stability.
by normalperson April 19, 2004
Extremely stable and advanced Operating System. much used by System operators to run on webservers because of it's stability and safety. Very hard to use. Not compatible with Windows programs and therefore not recommended for gamers.
Thank god my servers are much safer and stable now they're penguin powered by Linux
by Seven of Nine July 14, 2003
A kernel thingy. It pwns Win32.
I like to bash people who use Linux on In other news, I have no life.
by Menchi September 15, 2003

Read the first definition, it's so true.

XP has screwed me 1 too many times.

Windows: I look pretty and everything runs on me

Linux: Yeah, I'm not butt slow and don't bsod all the time.
by oblong penis September 14, 2007

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