Top Definition
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
Sorry, this is the best analogy on the subject of linux, has been around for a long time, and is anonymous.

BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
by danw December 22, 2003
An open-source kernel, referred as GNU/Linux. Criticised by Windows/Mac users because of it's moderate difficulty of use. Let's hope it's community will continue to be populated by people who have some brain.
Windows fan: Look at my laptop, it's so cool!
Mac fan: Ha! look at mine! (fiddles with GUI)
Windows fan: Yours is shit asdasdasdasdsadasd fuk off
Linux fan: (compiz cube)
Mac fan: HOLY
Windows fan: SHIT
by vilos April 05, 2010
You have two cows.

The city council demands that you disect one of them and allow the town citizens to do whatever they want to it.
The town citizens use genetic modification to enhance choice organs.
They take several days to re-animate the cow, until they finally have a working zombie-cow that produces SuperMilk (similar to Popeye's spinach) but random organs stop every 10 seconds, forcing the people to disect it again just to fix it.

You live happily on your regular milk while the town struggles.
No, this Linux diatribe isn't copypasta.
I'm just as astounded as you.
by DonZabu November 03, 2008
A great OS that runs the only game a true gamer would ever play (counterstrike) fine and is much more stable. If you are tired of letting microsoft own your computer and tired of the utter lack of customizability that comes with winblowz, I recommend that you give this a shot. It is simple to learn I cannot believe anyone thinks it is complicated. If you dont feel like partitioning space on your comp to try it out, get a "live cd" of linux (such as knoppix or phlak) and just boot it up and take linux for a test drive.
I switched to linux 3 years ago. CS runs much better on my customized version of linux than it ever ran on my windows OS. I am so glad I found linux! Now I am the one controlling my comp!
by |_îÑ|_|>< |=4Ñ April 29, 2004
Linux Is Not UniX
A UNIX clone written by Linus Torvalds so people can have a UNIX-like OS which has no AT&T code for which you need to pay royalties. Known sometimes as GNU/Linux. Morons complain about compiling their software when the reason is for the software to be cross-compatible.
Linux is in NO WAY an alternative to Windows. Windows is intended as a multimedia and gaming OS and Linux is designed for server machines. They are two VERY DIFFERENT operating systems.
by Anonymous August 11, 2003
Completely incomprehensible when in terminal form, comprehensible in graphic form. Users often feel a strange, all-consuming need to write microsoft as "M$" or windows as "Windoze". This behaviour has no been deciphered by psychologists yet, but it is suspected that they do it to "fight the man". Only the faggiest of users use these words, although regular linux users use them too.
Hardcore Linux user: "OMG M$ r releasing teir new windoze version lol BSOD evry 2 mins lol."
Windows user: "...the hell?"
by CWO01 May 29, 2009
What Windoze users should turn to since Windows is clearly crap, evil and bastardised in every way.
Linux runs the web (80% of all servers).
Linux is the base-station of most hackers (see 'Hackers Handbook' by Dr. K, ISBN 1-85868-943-0) because it is inherently secure.
'HOLY SHIT MAN DID YOU SEE THAT?!'
'Yeah dude you fux0red up that poor dudes windoze box'
'Yeah man, linux r0x0rz!!!'
'Yeah'

*cue beavis and butthead style laughter*
by Minigun_Fiend July 21, 2004
Linux is a monolithic kernel. Most people don't get it. They say linux would never go mainstream and "average joes" will never use it?? Then what? Does linux need. linux is not making money even if it has more users. it works for us better than other alternatives and this is the biggest thing.
Linux is great.
by meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* June 26, 2010

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