Council Lifeguard 

A twat who feels there are smm (So much more) they lifeguard for the goverment, who are left wing extremists. They also watch small children in the kiddies pool.

*Man is watching a childs football match of which he has no relation to any players*
Trevor: "You such a council lifeguard it's unreal"
Man: It's true"

Council Lifeguard by Beanhead95 November 14, 2011

black lifeguard 

Like a unicorn or Bigfoot a Black Lifeguard is an urban myth

They say a black lifeguard haunts these waters.

black lifeguard by Big Rob from PHX October 24, 2007

lifeguard 

The best job you could ever have. Its a wonderful job where you get to work outside, meet new people everyday, and gain valuable experience for later in life. Many people think that guards just sit around and work on their tans. Yes, that is true to some extent, but there is a lot more to lifeguarding than most people think. Guards have to clean the pool/bathrooms/surrounding areas, check chemicals, balance chemicals, write incident reports, perform pump/filter maintenance, clean skimmer baskets, etc.

Managers have even more duties. They must do the scheduling for one or more facilities, make sure that the guards actually show up to work, and in general make sure that everyone is doing their job and that everything is running smoothly. And managers get paid pretty well.

17 year old Manager: I love being a lifeguard. I just got a $1700 paycheck for two weeks of work. I think I'll go shopping after I finish this week's schedule and fire someone.

lifeguard by Olshan December 15, 2007

Reverse Lifeguard 

(noun): A brown-noser, kiss ass, or anyone generally being phony to advance their career/social standing

Whereas lifeguards famously cover their noses in white sunblock, a reverse lifeguard's nose is covered in a different substance...

Man 1: I see Dave's been kissing the boss's ass hard since that new sales position became available.

Man 2: Yeah it looks like he'll be on reverse lifeguard duty until he gets it.

Reverse Lifeguard by HookfaceSteve June 14, 2018

Lifeguard 

A person that sits around on stand that's fucking hot and gets amazingly, perfectly tanned all day, wears the fanny pack with grace, blows that whistle how it should be blown ;), runs around in slow mo, lives for thunderstorms and save lives like a goddamn G. Best job in the whole world.

you: My friend shawn is a lifeguard.
me: Oooh child, he must be gettin all dem chicks with his money, tan.. and the ability to blow whistles with his mouth to mouth abilities ;)

Lifeguard by hdubb August 7, 2010

lifeguard 

glorious beings who protect and serve the people of the pool. while sometimes mistaken for lazy for basking in the sunlight and getting tan, lifeguards maintain rigorous jobs - often times sacrificing themselves for the wellbeing of others.

a patron attacks lifeguard. lifeguard blocks away.

lifeguard by grateful patron June 11, 2006

DIRTY LIFEGUARD 

To 69 - guy on top with his balls in the girl's mouth - and with one movement, the guy sits up and shit-streaks the girls' nose resembling a lifeguard with sunscreen on his nose.

"No, I'm not kidding, Becky! He pulled his coin-purse out of my mouth and just when I thought he was gonna nut down my throat, he gave me a fucking Dirty Lifeguard! And he's just laughing at me yelling "SHART! SHART!"

DIRTY LIFEGUARD by 9078675309 October 15, 2008