Leftardation 

Excessive brain damage often caused by drinking cyanide-laced Kool-Aid, those who are medically defined to be "Leftarded" appear to have the following symptoms:

Praise for third-world cultures, government structures, and 6th century barbaric war cults.

Praise for failed economic and political models that results in mass genocide.

Refusal to take consequence for their actions, and projects their own hatred on their opponents.

Denial of basic biological functions and cellular makeup.

Excessive weight gain, oversized earlobe earrings, as well as piercings and tattoos covering their bodies.

Hatred of pale skin pigmentation.

Views violent sacrifices of preborn babies as sacred.

Prone to outbursts of tears or anger if emotionally triggered.

Views violation of Federal Immigration Laws as legal.

Belief in state-run propaganda outlets as "truth", while suppressing alternate information.

If you, or a loved one, knows anybody who is a Leftard, the only known solution would be permanent exile to "Leftard Colony" quarantine zones, most notably California or Sweden.

Leftardation is a cancer to a free and properly functioning society, and must be cured at all costs if Western Civilization is to survive this pandemic of idiocy.

Leftardation by lCOYARlCllCOYAR February 15, 2017

Lefturbator 

One who masturbates using only the left hand.

Joe: "Dude, Eli's left arm is so strong--how'd he do it?"
Mike: "Didn't you know? He's a lefturbator."

Lefturbator by A Righty January 6, 2008

lasturbation 

the last masturbation before something; death, a long journey, a night out

"I better go take my lasturbation before we depart."

lasturbation by Ass P. Hat May 23, 2008

Lofterbation 

The act of masturbating while in one's dorm room lofted bed, with or without roommates present. The lofts must be so high above the ground that, upon ejaculation, the discharge sticks to the ceiling.

After returning from class, I noticed the jizz dripping from the ceiling and immediately assumed Fat Jimmy had been lofterbating.

I took one look at my roommate Jim Nugent and was forced to hop in bed to lofterbate.

My erectile dysfunction doesn't allow for lofterbating.

After bombing my Orgo test, I ran back to the dorm for some quality lofterbation.

With four guys in one room, lofterbation is so frequent that we painted our ceiling white.

Lofterbation by James T. Nugent November 12, 2008

Lasturbation 

When a female masturbates by pulling their pants up to the point where the pants wedge in between the two vaginal lips and rub the clitoris.

Girl 1: How do you like to masturbate?

Girl 2: I like to put my jammies on and pull them up so it feels good on my pussy, otherwise known as lasturbation.

Girl 1: Wow, that is interesting

Girl 2: Yeah, I'm a frequent lasturbator.

Lasturbation by Phil Spinelli March 5, 2009

lasturbation 

The last time you masturbate to someone before you get over them.

Bartholomew: Nah, I'd never get back with Kelly, even if she begged me.
Reginald: Really, dude? You had so much thirst last week.
Bartholomew: I finally lasturbated and now I don't need her. I even think she's kinda gross!

Bob: Oh hi, Mark! What's with the new chick? How did you manage to get over Stacy?
Mark: Lasturbation is the way, man.
Bob: Teach me, master.

lasturbation by legendsword2 July 9, 2018