| 1. | Arizona Immigration Law | ||
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A bill that was attempted to be passed by Arizona in order to put a leash on illegal immigration, which the federal government has largely failed to do; Arizona spends hundreds of millions on jailing illegals, and who knows how much more on educating them, providing welfare for them, etc., even though they don't pay taxes. The law's purpose is based off of a federal law that prohibits illegal immigration. Contrary to popular (actually, minority, because the majority of the country supports it) belief, its parameters strictly and directly prohibit racial profiling of any kind. Police officers aren't allowed to go up to anyone they want and say "show me your papers." In fact, they are required to check immigration status if one has already been arrested for a crime. Countless other states have introduced and/or instituted their own versions of SB-1070. The Obama Administration has shown blatant opposition to the bill and managed to essentially take away all proponents of it that gave it any effectiveness at all. Not only that, but State Department officials admitted to dissing Arizona's "humanitarian rights-violating" bill to countries such as China and Libya. Most, if not all of the Administration's accusations of the bill have truly been completely false. Obama: "If you didn't have your papers and you took your kids out for ice cream, you could be harassed." (actual quote)
Someone who has actually read the Arizona Immigration Law: "No, you couldn't. Unless going out for ice cream is a crime now." |
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| 2. | dog run | ||
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n. A dedicated area (usually enclosed by a fence) of a park where dogs may be execised untethered, which would otherwise be in violation of local leash laws. I took Spot to the dog run today for some exercise, so he's all tired-out now.
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| 3. | A Segovia | ||
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1. One who is taken over by an unknown law force when his radio sounds, even when engaging in an in-depth conversation.
2. One who resembles a wiggle, preferably the purple one. 3. One who thinks he's funny, although he's actually not. 4. One who has many plans, none of which will probably work. 5. One who's mexican influenced dog substitues for a child, and looks like a naked mole rat. 6. One who uses two last names, knowin s/he only got one. 7. One who needs to keep the pictures on their camera hidden. 8. One who dresses like a hippie, and wears tye-die & hemp to important meetings. 9.One who enjoys multi-colered polos. 10. One who is always there for you when needed, and shows much love and consideration, but is still busted. " Hey Mr. Ben-Wilson, you need to keep a leash on your children, they're eating at my turnips... You're such A Segovia!"
" Someone's parked in my parking spot this morning!" "I need to consult the resident officer, in his office with the purple couch and his multi-colored polo on, maybe A Segovia." |
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| 4. | Petty Misdemeanor | ||
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A Petty Misdemeanor is the lowest class of Civil Offense. It is not a crime, and thus is not technically classified as breaking the law.
It generally results from breaking a City Ordinance, such as illegal parking, letting your dog off a leash in a leash required area, or a very minor shoplifting offense. Petty Misdemeanors, in terms of severity, are below Misdemeanors, which are below crimes. Petty Misdemeanors, by law, cannot require jail time and any fines imposed shall not exceed $300. Ordinances are passed by cities, since cities cannot technically enact laws. Many ordinances are total bullshit. For example, in Chicago, 'exceedingly hideous people may not appear in public.' Or in Hillsboro, Oregon, 'your horse cannot ride in the back seat of your car.' See Coaster Ordinance Loony Law Jason: "That prudish police officer just issued him a citation for shoplifting a candy bar."
Mike: "Only a single candy bar, who stops someone for that?! What a douchebag!" Jason: "Yeah, but it's probably just a petty misdemeanor" David of Chicago: "Woah, check out that fuck ugly woman over there." Pat: "I hope the cops give her a ticket for being so fuck ugly, she shouldn't be showing her face to the public." |
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| 5. | Loony Law | ||
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A Loony Law is a law or ordinance so incredibly stupid, you'd think the politicians were either: on acid, drunk, or in some way mentally retarded.
more...
Some Loony Laws.... In Chicago, it's against the law for exceedingly ugly people to appear in public. It is illegal in Salem, WV to leave home without knowing where you are going. In California you can own one bear gallbladder but no more. It's against the law to put coins in your ears in Hawaii. It is illegal for politicians to give away free booze on election day in Kentucky. It is illegal to catch a lobster with your bare hands in Maine. It's illegal to let your horse ride in the back seat of your car in Hillsboro, OR. Funeral directors can be arrested for swearing in front of a dead body in Neveda. It's against the law to marry your mother-in-law in Washington DC. You can't draw funny faces on window shades in Garfield county Montana. In a business office it's against the law for a women to take a bath in Carmel, CA. In Las Vegas, pawning your dentures is illegal. You need a permit to legally wear high heeled shoes in Carmel, CA. In Minnesota, it's illegal to sleep naked. It's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits in Natoma, KS. A man must remove his hat if he comes face to face with a cow in Fruithill, KY. It's against the law for a man in Detroit to scowl at his wife on Sunday. In Tulsa OK, it's illegal to sleep with your boots on. Funeral Directo... |
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| 6. | Spelt | ||
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Spelt is a complete sentence that means, "Put your seatbelt on now!" Years of telling countless children, repetitively, to put their seatbelt, was condensed into a simple command, "Spelt!" "Spelt." or "Spelt it!" Spelt it now Buster or I'm pulling over this SUV!
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| 7. | Lansdale | ||
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An exurb that throws a number of good parades. A little cynical, yes. Holding hands is a thrill for the Lansdale troopers.
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