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An extremely obese woman. More commonly known as a BIG BITCH. Often seen cruising buffet lines or getting smashed by guys who are hard up for some pussy. Much like a real whale, there is a lot of blubber and they secrete grease and oil. They often smell like stale fish although they rarely go in the water.
Hey man, did you see that land whale Mike was messin' with? I told him to watch out, now he went and fucked up and got that bitch pregnant. That's messed up.
by 210 Playa April 15, 2010
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2
A landwhale is a humanoid organism weighing in excess of 300lbs (although smaller specimens have been reported). They are often seen in the company of other landwhales and humans. Interbreeding between landwhales and humans, although once thought impossible, has been know to occur and produce viable offspring in isolated cases. In fact, it is rumored that humans can turn in to landwhales if they do not follow a healthy diet and excersize regularly; this statement has yet to be confirmed by science. Genus: Homo, Species: cetaceous.
The landwhale attempted to climb the stairs, but had to stop on the 5th step due to heavy breathing.
by TheNaturalist April 19, 2015
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3
A glutton that is so fat that she is unable reach back to wipe her ass or perform other basic hygiene.
Members of NAAFA, Big Fat Blog and other fat acceptance organizations.

You had better get to the buffet before that landwhale does.

Those Wal-Mart scooters must be built like tanks because they can handle some really big landwhales.
by The Real Fat Bastard February 12, 2008
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4
-Noun.
Obese person.

Unmotivated, fat cunt of a person whose weight is the result of pure laziness.
*Those who're obese as the result of medical problems not included.
"Look at that fat cunt. What the fuck did he eat?! England?"
"Nah mate, that's just a land whale. Careful, they eat humans."
by RabidIrishman May 15, 2013
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5
A person who is obese and has a big enough overhang to shelter a moose.
Wow see that fat kid over there... he is a land whale.
by Offrey J May 16, 2006
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6
The big blobs of people who can't move and get crushed by their own weight.
Did you see that land whale on TV last night?
by Master_stghm October 11, 2005
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7
Man or woman over 300 lbs.
The best land whale watching location is the Wal Mart near you.
by leeky10001 April 02, 2009
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