A land squid is a common phenomenon found often in urban areas. These solitary creatures, much like worms, only appear outside occasionally. Usually after teenage fornication, condom ballooning, tea bagging’s and other such sexual ambiguous events. They usually look sad and crushed. The land squid can be found on concrete side walks, but is more commonly found in vaguely secluded shrubbery where by a one minute tim just finished and discarded a condom. They have no breeding habits and their diets are rather vulgar. The land squid has no natural predators except for adolescent male humans who place them on a stick in order to chase undesirable siblings away, or conversely to court a female. Many land squids can be observed just off the path in Lord Stanley National Park: Vancouver, Canada.
"It seems that the shrubbery outside the trailer park has an infestation of land squids, must be those smith kids again."