Coated in a fine layer of pink, blue or green, several thousand mighty beasts are on the loose, searching for fresh, juicy meat. Merking in the darkness these terrifying creatures could pounce upon you, or your loved-ones at any time.
The bakery on Pudding Lane, owned by Mrs Julie Atkinson, has brought this burden upon us. Julie is currently being held captive by the creatures whilst her husband, George, is in intensive-care after an attack. Obviously, we have many theories upon how these events came about but we cannot be completely sure until we have questioned the couple.
The creatures seem to be cupcakes injected with some sort of disease which brings them to life. They are extremely intelligent and powerful in large numbers. They were last spotted thirty minutes after an incident creating murderous muffins! If these terrorsum-twosum come together, it may become a worldwide massacre.
Killer Cupcakes have attacked many including: Bruno the dog, Bubbles the goldfish, George Atkinson and many more. The attacks seem to be extremely fatal to animals. Last week a report came in that the cupcakes had attacked Jimbo, Mr Gozlings beloved tiger. They had somehow managed to strap him down, starve him for five weeks, then torment him with themselves as food.
Dr. Jones, who graduated from Cambridge University some twelve years ago gave us this exclusive theory upon the beasts; “It seems quite suspicious that the cupcakes only attack fat people. The...