a slacker or someone who never turns in their work and makes sad ass excuses to why they didn't do it.
Student: I didn't do my homework.
Teacher: You are such a kalman.
Student: i lIkE ChIcKeN.
To Kalman is to manipulate language in both an unusual but effective way.
Last night i asked Dave who that old king of England was and he totally kalmaned when he said "oh right it was i don't give a fuck"