Subscribe English
look up any word, like poopsterbate:
 
1.
A man who frequents prostitutes (John), but materbates on, or is masterbated by (handcock) the prostitute, rather than having sex with her, as a means of avoiding STDs.
YOU: Hey, John, do you wanna go to the bar?

YOUR BUDDY: No, I'm going to see Sharin' Cocks, that ho down the road.

YOU: Aren't you afraid of AIDS?

YOUR BUDDY: No, I'm a John Handcock.
by Sex Ed December 07, 2006
33 19
 
2.
while cumming onto someones face you write your name with the semen. This definition makes sense because your hand is on your cock and there was some guy who signed some piece of shit called the declaration of independence and now he is some hot shot for knowing how to spell his own name, but thats another story.
After fucking for a while max finished it off with a john handcock to commemorate the experience.
by MW52 December 06, 2006
15 19
 
3.
v.it., The act of male masturbation whilst seated on a toilet. This term originates from a play on words; one's hand is on one's "cock", thereby conducting the act of masturbation. As this occurs, one is also seated upon a "John", or toilet. Often the physical stimuli of the act itself is inhanced by pressure on the prostate from passing feces.
Jonathan takes fifteen minutes every Saturday morning to treat himself to a John Handcock after checking the markets in the Tribune.
by Spack McDrack November 26, 2004
22 28
 
4.
When ur finished fucking a girl, pull out, cum on her chest, and use ur Hands to sign your name on her chest.
After I paid her a Ben Franklin, I gave her a John HandCock.
by The Kid's Killin November 12, 2007
8 19