The bane of Humanity; The Destoyers of the Earth; SOmehting that needs to go down the well; Getting CHeated out of money; short for a Jew-Bag.
"Oh hell naw! Dem Jews are robbing a store!";" The Jewss will cause the apoloclypse"; "Throw the Jew down the well, So my country can be free!"-Borat; "Oh man I just got Jewed by the insurance company!" "Man you arn't just a Douche-Bag your a Jew Bag!"
by Non-Semite October 29, 2006
Jews are:

A follower of the Judaic religion, also known as Judaism.

Jews are not (except for SOME cases:

Always Israeli
Curly haired, big nosed, and cheap
Constantly pointing out anti-semitism

Okay?

And also, recently a swastika was painted on a Jewish temple. I'm a Jew. That hurt. So please stop making anti-semitic (or anti-JEWISH, I realize that a semite is anyone from the middle east, but IT HAS COME TO MEAN anti-Jewish) comments, because, dude, it hurts.
by Hadassah November 28, 2006
A group of individuals consisting of approximately 0.2% of the entire world population, and yet somehow manage to have won more than 20% of the nobel prizes awarded since 1901. The Jews have throughout history suffered from persecution, reaching a peak in WW2, when almost 80% of the entire Jewish population in Europe was murdered. After this the state of Israel was established, to provide a safe haven for the Jews. Despite this, anti-semitism remained a very real part of being a Jew even in our own modern world. Due to the fact that Jews place an extremely high value on the importance of education, the Jewish community is an exceptionally well established, educated and intelligent population in comparison to it's meagre size. Israel, a relatively tiny country, has produced hundreds of established people in literature, art, music, science and mathematics, while simultaneously fighting off haters and terrorists from all sides with its skilled army, and yet Jews continue to be amongst the most despised people on the planet.
1. "Despite their breakthroughs in medicine which have saved millions of lives, including a recent breakthrough in cancer treatment, many people seem to want Israel gone, the Jews dead, and their dear aunt Catherine to die of lung cancer because with Israel gone, that particular research will be stunted untill further notice."

2. "Thousands of people boycotted Israel during the 2008 Gaza war, explaining that they are doing this in protest to Israel defending itself from frequent terrorist bombings that had been occuring in the past 8 years. Many of these boycotters posted "boycott Israel" videoclips on youtube, blogged about how much they hated Israel or otherwise used their computers during this time, not realizing that the Intel microchip in their computer was developed by Israel and by using any computer that was less than 30 years old they were supporting Israel. What a bunch of idiots..."

3. "Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics,
And the Catholics hate the Protestants,
And the Hindus hate the Muslims,
And everybody hates the Jews."
by lovingisraelforever March 14, 2010
A person of the Jewish faith. Stereotyped as greedy because they invented interest, a system of banking used by any capitalist, whether they're Jewish, Christian, Islamic, atheist, or whatever.
Guy 1: Hey look, its that greedy Jew!
Guy 2: dude, Your a banker.
by DanTheGreat November 03, 2009
A person of Jewish faith or of Jewish race. Most Jews are in fact not religious but are Jews by blood. Most actors and filmmakers in the US are of Jewish decent. Common Jewish names include Cohen, Levi/Levine, Isaac and anything which contains 'Gold', 'Ruben', 'Silver', 'Stein' or 'Berg'. Famous Jews change their names to be more accepted.
Just a handful of examples: Steven Spielberg, Oliver Stone, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Bob Dillon, Woody Allen, Ben Stiller, Billy Crystal, Daniel Day Lewis, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow, Sarah Jessica Parker...
by Uncle Wolf June 12, 2005
An ethnic group, yes being jewish is an ethnic group, that originates from the southern levant and over the course of history has moved to many parts of the, especially europe, the middle east, and north africa.

For those who claim that being jewish is just a religion consider this. Geneticists have proven without a doubt that most of the people in the world who consider themselves to be ethnic jews are more closely related to jews from far away regions of the world than the host population that they live in. Meaning that a Russian Jew is more genetically related to an Iraqi Jew than a Russian and visa versa. Not only that Jews have their own separate culture. Examples of which would be the different languages that jews would speak like yiddish, ladino, judeo-arabic and judeo-persian. The Jews also believed in another religion than their host population. On top of that they wore different clothes and ate different foods. But most of all most Jews in the world self-identify as themselves as ethnic Jews, which is the most important part of defining an ethnic group. Also as a fun fact the national geographic and my A.P human geography text book say that jews are an ethnic group
Anglo guy 1: being a jew is just a religion!
Anglo guy 2: No it is a race!

Me: Since you to are both ignorant beyond all hope I will have to explain it to you. Being jewish is being part of a 4,000 year old ethnic group from the ancient levant.
by themanwiththeplan9192 March 14, 2010
A member of an ethnic group descended from Judah, one of the 12 tribes of Israel, via their mother, or who has converted to the Jewish faith. This group while comprising about 0.2% of the world's population has won about 1/3 of the Nobel Prizes. Three famous Jews are Jesus, Freud and Einstein.
John: Hey, kids aren't getting paralyzed by polio like a lot of kids were until the 50's.
Jane: Yeah, and Dr. Jonas Salk and Dr. Albert Sabin who invented the vaccines were both Jews.
by HearThe Word September 02, 2011
1. A person who's mother is Jewish and a person who follows and believes in the Jewish religion.

2. NOT, contrary to popular belief, and insult.

3. The creators of South Park.
1. Oy Vey, Moishe's Bar Mitzvah is tomorrow!

2. Cartman: Stfu you Jew!
Retarded, ignorant teenager: haha! Since Cartman said it, it must be an insult!
*Later*
Retarded, ignorant teenager: Hey, Jon, your a Jew!
Retarded, ignorant teenager 2: Hey wtf man your a Jew!

3. Anti-semetic: Ha! South Park is so great!
Some guy: You do realize the creators of that show are Jewish, right?
Anti-semetic: Bullshit! Are you a Jew?
by Starwarsgeek133 May 13, 2010
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