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slang term for people who follow the religion of judiasim. this is the oldest abrahamic relgion this is told to us by the bible and the quran,people who have abandend the path of god,are responsible for countless world crimes,and are moreless,annoying,money horders who will all have a home in the hell fire.they have a natural greed and have no manual labor ability at all,acoponied by a large ugly nose larger uglier hair,and a whiney annoying uglier voice.they countroll everything and make honest hardworking people exsaust themselves so they can go bang there head in a wall and live in a land stolen from innocent palestinans that they slaughtered raped and tourtured and repeated what happened to them by the nazis (they recieve money as conspentation from the german people who werent even around during the time of the holocuast,just as they say there wernt around for the death of christ,and it wasnt romans who killed christ it was the jews.-this deffenetion may seem hatefull and racesist but its not ive learend this from first hand expeirence,im sure theres a good jew out there i just havent met one yet.
"youd think with all that money they have they could just buy land instead of stealing it from innocent people and commiting genocide."

man1"howd he get that job he didnt even know what he was doing!!"
man2"hes a jew they look out for eachother,dont you know jews dont have to work for anything"

woman"dont touch me there!"
jew"why must you tourture me ive been through enough my family was in the holocaust!"
by ishmailthewarrioroflight July 05, 2006

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A group of people comprising 0.002% of the world's population yet drawing unproportional amount of media coverage (especially Israeli Jews).
The world is obsessed with Jews. Therefore, the world should get a life.
by sdhgdhdtjhdfjnmfdyjfry November 22, 2006

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1. Someone who practices Judaism.

2. Derogatory term for someone tight with their money or someone not very generous.
1. Kyle from southpark is a Jew

2. You jewish bastard, lend me a cig!!
by matt November 13, 2003

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The only people in the world that are simultaneously hated by both the extreme Left and the extreme Right.

Synonym: scapegoat
"The Jews killed Jesus!"

"The Jews control Hollywood!"

"The Jews caused 9/11!"

"The Jews oppress the Palestinians!"

"The Jews ran over my poodle!"
by Harvey Mama March 03, 2005

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A person of the jewish faith.
by Rabbi Dude November 04, 2003

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1) someone who practises judaism

2) is also a culture/ethnicity, that is to say it has a certain sense of humour, certain type of food and music etc.

3) A person who Mel Gibson talks smack about after he has had too much to drink.
"Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world."
by Clubned August 02, 2006

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Like Christians, but without all that Jesus stuff
"So is their family excited for Christmas?"
"Dude they're Jews"
by Codohu March 08, 2008

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Something you blame something.
1) "Ow. I just stubbed my toe. The Jews must be behind this."

2) "My microwave toaster oven just broke, it must have been the Jews."

3) "My dog just died, this must be the work of the Jews."

4) "I just got my license suspended, the Jews are behind this."

5) "I wet my bed, this is because of the Jews."

6) "My hard drive froze because of the Jews."

7) "I almost drowned in a swimming pool, this is the Jews' doing."

8) "I was 15 minutes late to work because of the Jewish religion."

9) "I'm allergic to cats due to there being Jews."

10) I didn't shower today and now I smell because of the Jews.
by The Rapping Rabbi July 19, 2009

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