look up any word, like half chub:
 
5.
Much like a regular "handle" of liquor, a Jesus-handle is any quantity greater than 1.75 L of top-tier liquor. It is a colloquial for people who avoid the Godless metric system, and believe that sermons are best preached from atop a bar-stool.
"Sorority sisters just can't hold a candle

to the St. Mary's girls when they grab my Jesus-Handle."
by rhinofeeder January 14, 2012
 
1.
The handle above the windows in most cars, so called for the propensity of people to shout "Oh Jesus!" while clutching it in mortal terror at the driver's skill level or sanity.

Also known as an oh shit handle.
My aunt is such a terrible driver. Whenever she drives everyone clings to their jesus handles.
by Ko'rhyan March 26, 2009
 
2.
The handles on your car used for

a) hanging dry cleaning

b) holding on to dear life while you are in some sort of accident, praying to Jesus.

They are more commonly known as oh shit handles.
Wendy made several tight swerves that caused Bobby to crash into the window, so he held on to the Jesus handles to steady himself.
by Newbia Leogetti August 28, 2005
 
3.
Noun: The handle located directly above passenger seat doors which can be grabbed when divine intervention is required.
"The car slammed its breaks and Allan grabbed the Jesus-handle."
by Alison A. September 27, 2009
 
4.
The handles inside a car by the seats that be hung on to when swerving around tight corners and yelling "JESUS!"
Alice hung on with all her might to the Jesus Handles and yelled the accompanying expression as Luke took a tight corner.
by Indigo Starr March 05, 2010