Top Definition
noun: when a person gets really excited about jesus, the teachings/words of jesus, or anything relating to jesus. the reultant is a massive jesus boner.
While I was in church, I had the eerie feling that I was surrounded by about 150 jesus boners.

The pope has the worlds largest jesus boner. what a stud.
by the storm drains May 07, 2008

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When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.
Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.
by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the t-shirt

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt