|1.||Jerry Lewis' Hair|
Chronic punchline for many a late night momologue or stand-up comedy routine. Mr. Lewis himself commented about his hair in a Penthouse interview: "I have more grease in my hair than Anthony Quinn's cunt."
"Oil crisis? We should simply connect a tanker to Jerry Lewis' hair."
The New Joysee government is known for being incredibly corrupt. This has been a trend ever since Satan was elected as governor of the state in 1917 when he claimed that his opponent, Jesus, had once been issued the death penalty due to a recorded criminal record.more...
Today, the members of the New Joysee State Senate eat at least 5 children a day, and the Govenor generally eats at least 7, though one day he once ate 24 in one sitting, fulfilling a dare in a childish attempt to impress his wife.
"In all honesty, the government is run by the Mafia," reported an actual Jersey resident quote. Unfortunately the resident and the reporter went "missing" shortly thereafter.
New Joysee was the 41st state in the United States of America. The state slogan was "The Armpit of America!", now "The Fabulous Armpit State!". As of 10/01/07 the capitol is New Joysee City.
Created when the Old Joysee was cast beneath the sea by the god Poseidon, the City-State of New Joysee is a scientifically formulated mixture of cow cheese, old fashioned blue-collar values, and fungally festooned ferret felt, best enjoyed while enjoying romance under a full moon listening to muskrat love. In some mythologies, New Joysee is the land of Paradise, the Garden of Alden, even. However, such stories are generally believed only by hopelessly psychotic homeless people who wander the streets of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
Note: Only fucking New Yorkers say New Joysee. New Jersey is a lot cleaner than o...
Fonzoids are the male mainifestaion of the current retro fifties subculture. They are distiguished by 1950s era hair dos like pompadour and duck tails. Clothing is can range from the proletarian working class vibe(sleeveless t-shirts,peg leg jeans, leather motorcycle jackets and either engineer boots or old school canvas sneakers) to a more glam rockabilly styles similar to the British "Teddies".more...
Brian Seltzer of the Stay Cats is a good example of the latter. The drug of choice among Fonzoids is simple...Beer, beer and more beer. Most proletarian Fonzoids reject microbrews in favor of chaep brands like Budwiser,Pabst and Lucky Lager. This coupled with preferences to cigaerette brands like Lucky Strikes and Old Golds provide props to authnticate the simple,down to earth mileiu of fonzoid culture. You wont find much marijauna or psychedlic action with Fonzoid hijinks...no sir! If a fonzoid took Exctasy...it might result in him liking...Techno! Fonzoids like their intoxication a litte more down to earth and so when a fonzoid really feela like "cutting the rug", beer is usually augmented with more potent spirits like whisky. Fonzoid dwellings are usually decorated with artifacts from the era they so identify with. This can include retro furniture,toys and culural mamoribilia.Also, Fonzoids prefer automobles from the fifties and sixties.No self respecting fonzoid would'nt be caught dead in a Lexus.Some of the more intense fonzoids will ride a old school Harley.These are greatl...