You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator OHHH JERK SAUCE IN YO FACE!!!
You're so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application! OHH you got JERK SAUCE in yo eye!!
Smartass: "Want fries with that?"
Dumbass: "Yeah, throw in some dipping sauce too."
Smartass: "We have a new flavor called Jamacian jerksauce. Do you want to try some?"
Smartass: "Your order will be ready in just a few minutes."