A highly organized competition pitting jerk chicken recipes and cooking talents against one another. Best jerk wins.
Extra: best side dish (eg. rice and peas, corn, mash, etc.)

The Adolf Shitler ( a-dolf shit-ler)

To masterbate (jerk off) with a hand full of feces (poo, shit, crap etc.)
Sometimes refered to as the Vladasmear Poopin (vlad-a-smear poo-pin)

or the Shitler

Origin:
The Adolf Shitler is a masterbation technique that was founded on the South A sort asile of UPS in Horsham Pennsylvania during twilight shift (6pm-9:30pm). An employee, a rather odd fellow was struck with a bout of irritable syndrome. Knowing that he had no time to make it to the restroom he simply cupped his hand and did his best to contain his bowel movement. Previously during the evening he complained of stomach irritation from the consumption of tacos and hot sauce. Whilst having his hand full of feces he continued to the restroom where upon arrival he began to masterbate with the hand full of feces.

The Vladasmear Poopin (vlad-a-smear poo-pin)

To masterbate (jerk off) with a hand full of feces (poo, shit, crap etc.)
Sometimes refered to as the Adolf Shitler ( a-dolf shit-ler)

or the Shitler

Origin:
The Vladasmear Poopin is a masterbation technique that was founded on the South A sort asile of UPS in Horsham Pennsylvania during twilight shift (6pm-9:30pm). An employee, a rather odd fellow was struck with a bout of irritable syndrome. Knowing that he had no time to make it to the restroom he simply cupped his hand and did his best to contain his bowel movement. Previously during the evening he complained of stomach irritation from the consumption of tacos and hot sauce. Whilst having his hand full of feces he continued to the restroom where upon arrival he began to masterbate with the hand full of feces.

Noun: an insignificant, loud-mouth, jerk-off who totally fucks himself over every time he opens his big fucking mouth. To be more specific, someone who repeatedly slaps themselves in their own face with their own proverbial cock while at the same time ejaculating into their own eye socket, causing irritation not only to themselves, but also to everyone around them as well.

you jerk off while taking a shit on the toilet. same as blumpkin but instead of getting a blowjob you engage in self-pleasure

JOPO is an acronym devleoped by a group of unemployed individuals collecting free money from the government. JOPO means
JERK
OFF
PASS
OUT

I once heard the late George Carlin at a live performance reel off hundreds of witty slang synonyms for masturbation, but his final entry, and the punchline for his entire performance, was,

"Crowning the King."

I thought it was the funniest.