1. Someone who is incompetent, completely unreliable, and so full of excuses that they should just masturbate for the rest of their pathetic lives.

3. A jack of all trades if all trades were different forms of masturbation

2. Someone who fails at their own life, and also succeeds to suck a little life out of everyone else on their way to nowhere.

1. Someone who indecisively sits on their ass while opportunities come and go until they are finally left with nothing.

Subway musician who only knows a few chords and plays them over and over again.

A Cum Artist is a person who uses a celebrity's photo, or a picture of a really hot girl as inspiration to jerk off on and "paint" their face or body with their cum-shot. They can dedicate their art to one celebrity or many, and are extroverts wanting their photos published online for all to see. The newer artists have turned to video capturing the facial or body shot with sound.

A person (usually a man) who is good at masturbation, but since that rudimentary skill requires no particular training, it's usually used to mean someone who has no particular skills at anything beyond masturbation. An American way to designate a "wanker."

to jerk off (Philly slang)

Strapper - a jerk off
Strap Artist - a jerk off
Straphappy - masturbates too much

n. One who masterbates regularly at or in front of a personal computer.

n. One who literally ejaculates onto his keyboard while viewing internet pornography, hence spackling his keyboard with his man juice.

to masturbate to pornography. Created in honor of gospel artist Kirk Franklin who admitted an addiction to pornography. Not to be mistaken with the Cam'ron line in "Take 'Em To Church"