Jeepsus 

Jeepsus is the man who is sent by God in a Jeep to help anyone who is in need of help or guidance through the mountains. He usually sports a thick beard and a tastfully yet modest modified Jeep Wrangler Rubicon that can get through anything or tow you out.

For example: when one is traversing terrain deep in the mountains in a jeep and they haven't seen a soul all day until the reach the top of a mountain, where a large puddle/pond of unknown depth stands in his/her way. Jeepsus arrives out of nowhere driving a perfectly modified Jeep Wrangler Rubicon and drives through the huge puddle no problem indicating that traveling through is possible even in your jeep. After you follow he then offers to make sure your jeep is functioning properly.

#2 You were stupid and got stuck in some mud by yourself deep in the wilderness.. Jeepsus arrives and winches you out.

Jeepsus has a dense beard, and the fly(zipper) on his jeans is made of cast iron and welded together to keep his genitalia from involuntarily busting out of his pants. Nobody fucks with the Jeepsus.

Dude, what are we gonna do? We have to get back to civilization, I can't miss my brothers graduation! I can't believe we got stuck out here.... wait who is that driving on (and through) water?? Oh Jeepsus has come to save us!

Jeepsus by abashubu jack May 29, 2010

Jehesus Christ 

A variation of the exclamation "Jesus Christ!" Usually used in times of emotional distress or anger.

*Whole family is killed by explosion*

Atlas - "Jehesus Christ! Isn't that just like Ryan?"

Jehesus Christ by Jak B 001 September 11, 2009

jeesus 

reee you heckin normies

i luv jeesus

jeesus by jeesus_ himself March 8, 2019

Jehesus christine 

A way of saying Jesus Christ but some people find it quite disrespectful

Jhonny- JEHESUS CHRISTINE WHAT DID U DO TO MY CAR MONICA ?!?!
Monica- you don't have to spit at me you uncultured swine

Jehesus christine by Peanutwiggler November 10, 2019

Jesesus (ja-zee-ziss)

An incurable disease obtained by coming in close contact with any man named Jesus. Originating in Mexico, the illness has spread to North America, Europe, Asia, Africa and Antarctica. It has been known to cause:

Burning, irratation, inflamation, redness, restlessness, uncontrolable movements, loss of appetite, stomach pain or bloating, gas, indigestion, weight gain or loss, dry mouth, excessive saliva in the mouth, tongue pain, change in the ability to taste food, swollen lips, acne, hair loss, unusual discomfort in cold temperatures, constipation, depression, joint or muscle pain, brittle fingernails or hair, tiredness, shaking, muscle weakness, stiffness, twitching, tightness, loss of coordination, diarrhea, vomiting, excessive thirst, frequent urination, giddiness, ringing in the ears, jerky movements, blackouts, seizures, slurred speech, irregular or pounding heartbeat, chest tightness, confusion, hallucinations, crossed eyes, discolored fingers and toes, headache, pounding noises inside the head, changes in vision, paleness, itching, rash, swelling of the eyes, face, lips, tongue, throat, hands, feet, ankles or lower legs, increased thoughts of cannibalism, retraction of testicles, increased rate of hair growth, excretion of live caterpillars of butterflies and sudden urge to play the accordion.

If you have any or all of these symptoms you should alert your doctor immediately.

While Jenny was in Mexico, she slept with a male prostitute named Jesus and died two months later from the Jesesus (ja-zee-ziss) disease.

Jesesus (ja-zee-ziss) by plysaxaphone November 25, 2007

Black Jeesus 

Sometimes thought of as Morgan Freeman. While Morgan Freeman may be god, he is not Black Jeesus, that would be his son, Denzel Washington.

Yes, I guess Denzel Washington, Black Jeesus, is Jewish.

Black Jeesus by Worgen Freeman November 30, 2010