Although penises with piercings and other tribal deformities are preferred, the largest cock will suffice for jareding. Once a suitable porch monkey is selected, he will coerce the creature with pictures of female apes. As the negroid achieves a massive erection, the jareder will sneak up and position his well greased anus above the shaft.
In one swift motion, the perpetrator impales his ass on the cock and rides it like a cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, eventually causing the negroid to ejaculate. In the final step of jareding, the sick fuck will proceed to collect the semen and pour it over fresh chalupas, as he is usually 13 year old faggot Taco Bell fanboy. As he eats the chalupas, the jareder smiles with joy stroking his tiny 2.3" dick to a picture of Jack Bauer, contemplating his next victim.
Jared: Sure Mr. Locati! I'd love to go, although I call dibs on your freshly made semen-covered tacos, I'm too much of a curly headed fucking jew to pay for Taco Bell! Did I mention I'm gay?
2.someone you would stride to be like
3.a manifestation of excellence
4.basically the raw-est nigga God could create
I lost my girlfriend to Jared... oh well
My wife is screwing Jared
2. a passionate capricorn who possesses a blazing love for vanilla icing, the xgames, and rock band.
3. someone amazing.
*also see BEAR
"I know! He's totally a Jared."
Flippy brown hair and hazel eyes. HE'S GORGEOUS!!
Wicked nice and the funniest guy you have every met!! <3
"I know. How long have you known him?"
"Well I said he's a Jared, so we've known each other forever!!"