| 1. | Moose - Taming | ||
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Moose's are the largest members of the deer family, about the size of a horse. They have thick coats of long, dark-brown hair, humped shoulders, and long thin legs.
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However, don't be fooled by this creatures peaceful appearance as they can be highly aggressive. A Moose can charge for no reason at all without warning. If this ever occurs to you, remember the three simple steps to stop the moose charging. This is called Taming The Beast. ------------------------------------ How Do You Tame The Beast? -When the Moose charges at you carry out these three steps. 1) Choose your thigh which you want to attack, preferably one of the back two thighs as this is where most power comes from. 2) Assume the position - Do this by raising your hand just above your head. 3) TAME - Now run towards the beast, swing your arm round to gather momentum and then slap the palm of your hand on the animals thigh whilst shouting TAME THE BEAST. --------------------------------------- This should cause the animal to withdraw from attack. However, if the animal continues to attack continue to tame with increasing power and force. In the area occurrence in which the beast does not withdraw, grab hold of its antlers and go, ‘Yee-Haa’. WARNING: Only carry out this in times of desperation. |
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| 2. | New Canaan | ||
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You know you live in New Canaan when...
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You can’t walk around any of the schools without seeing at least 3 Rugby shirts Everyone even the guys know all the names of the people from the OC Your next door neighbor gets arrested for dealing cocaine You’re scared to go to Norwalk because you think you going to get shot The only time you would ever think of going to the Bronx is to go to the Bronx Zoo Starbucks coffee is inexpensive to you Even some of the guys wear some from of Ugg shoes A Rams bumper sticker is plastered on every Land Rover You still think its summer so you wear flip flops in December Sports are not a game its life When you turn 16 you want a Land Rover and you expect to get one Birkenstocks aren’t for old people they’re for the teenagers When you talk about the moose the only thing you relate it to is Abercrombie When you can’t count the number of Hummers, Porsches, and Land Rovers in the streets on one hand Half the people aren’t who they really are Even though every mom is blonde and big boobed, you know it's all fake Perfection isn’t expected its reality A 12 year old could pass for a 21 year old and get alcohol The police are always showing up at the school for stupid small crimes created by the students When almost half of the population hates living here But we are still able to look like rich and perfect people screw that none of it's true |
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| 3. | Canada's History | ||
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When a man takes his hand and sticks it up a moose's asshole all the way to the elbow while his Courtney (see definition of Courtney) licks the Moose's testicles and fingers the guys ass. Then the man takes a handful of moose shit and smears it on the Courtney's face and sticks his penis in the moose until he blows he is close to cumming then blows his load over the Courtney then they both suck the moose off until the animal blows its load all over the Courtney. I was reading about Canada's History in the Beaver today and am not sure where I could find a Courtney willing to get a moose testicle in the mouth.
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| 4. | Canada's History | ||
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Also known as "The Beaver" was originally any sex act which incorporated the remains of a land mammal and an organic based lubricant, however it has more recently been more specifically defined by conservative enthusiast as the act of filling the Stanley Cup with maple syrup and human excrement then dipping moose antlers, dead or living though dead is more common, into the said mixture then inserting them into the anus of sexual partners while mutually performing oral sex. While generally considered "safe" it is not recommended to those under the age of 65 years old due to its unusually high mortallity rate and less common but confirmed cases of spontaneous growth of extra sex organs especially in hermaphodites. I visited my grandmother at the nursing home the other day, she told me all about Canada's History.
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| 5. | canada | ||
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Well, after being buzzed on my extra-large Tim Horton's coffee and not being able to sleep, I read the entry for "Canada" on UD. From what I can see here, it looks like the Canadians on here got bored around post 175... Because from there on, its just Canada-bashers repeating the exact same thing that the people before posted. Wow - the intelligence never ceases to amaze. Just as well, there are a few issues I'd like to clear up:
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1) Canadians are not under-educated. Thankfully, our colleges and universities (which, by the way, are completely different things) are publicly-funded, with generally fixed tuition fees (in Ontario, around $4500 a year). This allows post-secondary education to be much more accessible here than in America. Compare this with getting a comparable education at an American university (lets say... Cornell, where my dad went.). Tuition at Cornell is $18,000/year at a public-college and $32,000/year at a private-college. In addition, our secondary school system is built on a common ground - so that it doesn't matter what high school you go to, you will be just as well prepared for university (hence us not needing to take an admission test, such as the SATs, in order to gain entrance into university). 2) Yes, it is true. Our health-care system is not perfect. Nor are we claiming that it is perfectly "free". Believe me, we are well aware that we are taxed for our health-care. However, it is universal. By this, I mean that every citizen has equal acce... |
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| 6. | Invader Zim | ||
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A cartoon show that ran on Nickelodeon for three seasons or so. It depicted the life of a disturbed, xenophiliac young man named Dib who was obsessed with cutting up a green, screaming alien and having sex with every one of its slimy alien organs. The show spawned millions of annoying 13-year-old girls and boys who suddenly thought the words "moose" and "taquitos" were "teh FUNNAY LOLOLOLOLOL" and began firing quotes from every one of their orifices (like delicious diarrhea) at will whenever the name "GIR" was brought up. Soon afterwards, since Nick found it impossible to fap to creepy and ugly children who had fantasies about little green men from the stars any longer, Nick pulled the plug on Zim, thus releasing Jhonen Vasquez from captivity to be free to whine and whine about the many fans who SUPPLY HIM WITH HIS MONEYS, allowing him to purchase all the double-ended strap-on harnesses his little heart desires. Girl from Hot Topic: My god, Invader Zim was the greatest show in the entire world!
Sane Person: I beg to differ. I believe Zim sucked vastly. Girl: OMG how dare you your opinion is not allowed you are closeminded lol^_^ Sane Person: NO U |
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| 7. | Abercrombie & Fitch | ||
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People usually relate the store Abercrombie with toned preps. Yes, this is what the company hopes to achieve.
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Abercrombie is a store like all others. Its just one of the more upscale mall stores. It's less expensive sister store Hollister targets the West Coast audience. With its bright colors and surf appeal. Abercrombie on the other hand is designed for the East Coast preps. With a majority of their clothes being navys, gray and whites their motto is casual luxury. Which it is. The Chanel of the mall; Abercrombie sells its clothes at a higher price then most other mall stores such as American Eagle and Aeropostale. Abercrombie also targets a smaller sized audience. American Eagle and Aeropostale's sizes run bigger and come boxey-er that Abercrombie which makes their clothing long and lean. Many people dislike Abercrombie for just that. But, this is unnecessary. There is no reason to complain about Abercrombie's lack of large sizes and expensive clothes. If you have a problem; just don't shop there. Many also find it degrading that Abercombie only hires workers that are attractive as their models. This is because they are models in a sense. They're hired not only to provide assistance to customers but to also show those same customers how Abercrombie's clothes look on. They're attractive because the models are attractive. Because that's what Abercr... |
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