a horrible little turd town in orange county, but not in the way you might be thinking. it is safe. nightmarishly safe. to the point where it's like the san angeles scene in Stallone's movie, demolition man, only the cops are still able to kick your ass and they do so at the slightest provocation. bikers are not welcome anywhere in the public. cars don't want them on the street, and peds dont want them on the sidewalk. the schools are too competetive because of the invasion of asians. the only thing there is to do in the city is hiking on boring "wilderness" trails that are completely surrounded by suburban development, the spectrum (which is normally chock full of rich snobs, posers, and skater punks), and smoke weed. chances are, 1/4 of the people you run into in irvine deal the fine herb. speaking of weed, the biggest crime that you ever hear about in the city is some high school student getting caught with weed on him. never move here unless you want a dull, boring life in a city with asshole cops, stoners, INSANE property taxes and home prices, and laguna beach reject scum. if you stop in irvine on your way to san diego or LA, keep going. even the gas here is expensive.
arizona chick: where u from?
arizona chick: wheres that?
arizona chick: dude! that's so cool! omg! do you live next to a celebrity?
me: no, i live next to koreans who i can hear beating and shouting at their kid daily for not getting all a's. irvine sucks dick.
bizarro world! the concept of Big Brother turned into reality. someone's keeping an eye on you. if your grass is a cm too long, you receive a warning, then perhaps get evicted. No property in Irvine you own is truly yours. snoozefest. A great population of Starbucks lovin yuppies. home of Emo kids and "Punk" kids who'd freak out if they had to live in neighboring Santa Ana. No culture, no character. don't dare paint your house Pink, Beige is the official color of Irvine, no approval needed. the whole city is Beige, physically and spiritually. zzzz!!!
"welcome to Irvine, be quiet!!!"
A perfect little city known as "the bubble".
Theres nothing to do in this fuckin bubble... Irvine blows.
1. A bubble
3. A place with cops who don't do anything all day but write tickets.
4.A place where you get yelled at for having your grass 2 inches instead of 1.9.
5. Asian invasion.
I'm lost! Everything looks the same in Irvine!
City of approximately 146,000 residents, and counting. Located in the center of Orange County. Close to almost everything. 30-minute drive or less to Laguna Beach, Long Beach, Disneyland, and San Juan Capistrano-San Clemente. 45 minutes from downtown L.A. in good traffic; approximately double that in bad. 90 minutes or less from San Diego.
America's most successful master-planned community. City is comprised of "villages," which are residential areas with common architectural themes, as well as commercial and industrial areas. Irvine Company, which still owns most of the land in the city, likes to say that villages were meant to be "jewels" and University of California, Irvine (UCI) the "pendant"; however, in "Where We Are Now: Notes from Los Angeles," essayist/L.A. Times commentator D.J. Waldie states that villages were also meant to dilute residents' political power and allow the Irvine Company to do as it pleased, "with the compliant oversight of County government." This attempt backfired in 1971, when residents revolted by incorporating the city and taking control of its future. Irvine development now much slower than 35 years ago, under "Master Plan."
Middle to upper-middle class. Excellent public schools, thanks in part to local charitable foundation. City school district receives lowest per-capita funding of any district in California, but donation offset allows schools to maintain extensive art, music, science, and athletics programs. Dedicated a...
The big rich bubble of doom
"Welcome to Irvine, you're stuck here"
Irvine is located in California. Once you leave you can't get back in, because that's a rule in Irvine. Irvine’s slogan- "You’re either with us, or against us." Also, it is populated by mainly Christian, Catholic and Mormon individuals, who every now and then will try and get you to convert to their religion.
The city itself is one of the safest in the nation, because the police here are amazingly anal. You roll a stop sign at two miles an hour, and your ass is grass. They are also have some unbelievable vendetta against Asians, some of whom are from foreign countries and have only been in the U.S. for a few months, or were alive during the Vietnam War era, where seeing a person in a uniform meant that you were usually screwed, and whom panic at the sight of a police officer. The police are so dumb that they don’t recognize this, and arrest the person for not following one of their commands.
Also, the cops really hate teens. I don’t know why this is; they just have some thing against teens, especially drivers. It’s unreal.
Its population of Asians is rising, (which makes the police vendetta toward them a bit more perplexing) which is good, maybe it will get the cops to stop being such assholes towards them.
Nothing happens here. It’s rather amazing really. At 10 PM everyone is inside watching the local news or sleeping. The only things I read about are the marijuana busts, and when ever something big happens most reporters have trouble finding the city. The ...