The Internet is the nearest any human will get to a god.

The internet is more powerful than any human in existence

The internet is more knowledgeable than any human in existence

It is a collection of minds across the world that forms a collective consciousness which is much like the trinity
(or the old creatures off the demonata)

It also gains more power with every millisecond and not so far from now will implode on its self leaving us helpless and back in the dark ages because at the time when it implodes it we would have become so dependant upon it that we wouldnt know how to live without it
meh maybe the internet wont implode
by NobodyLikesPaul May 02, 2010
A place for serious buisness.
The internet is serious buisness.
by Sionofdarkness. September 13, 2005
The internet is a device made by man with the intention to enrich our lives and broaden our knowledge beyond previous realms of possibility by sharing information via a communication device.

Today it is used to look at pornography, bitch about films, share pirated anime via popular file-sharing sites and cause illiteracy and general retardation amongst youths.
Little Timmy: You know poppa, I think I might use the worlds largest data base of information to educate myself and learn to view my opinions with tolerance and validity so I can become a better member of society.
Poppa: Really?
Little Timmy: Fuck no! Now get outta my room so I can download German pr0n and stalk girls on MSN lulz!!!1 D4m I <3 the internet!
by Chris Rock mutha fucka May 07, 2007
1)Something I invented.
2)A hair net worn by two old women who can't afford a single hair net. They have fallen through the cracks in the Bush Medicaid drug program, and cannot even afford drugs in Canada.
3)A net used to capture rogue interns.
1)Did I mention I also won an Oscar and the Nobel prize, not to mention the presidential election of 2000?
2)Mabel and Shirley took turns holding the cane, but the internet was something they both had to deal with.
3)Somebody should have used the internet on Monica Lewinsky. They only used the presidnet in a nuclear emergency.
A series of tubes. Can become clogged, but that can be remedied by a lotto ball.
"...The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material."

-The Eloquent and Wonderful Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)
by axbesm_starr July 14, 2006
A magical place where you can spend hours on end talking to people all over the world posing as a 10 year old girl, do research on any subject imaginable, play games, or look at some good porn.
Look at all of this porn I have found on the internet.
by Jimbo May 22, 2003
A place filled with porn and ads.

Where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

Where everyone talks like they can kick your ass when they probably can't.

A place for lifeless retards who want virtual lives.

The pedophiles' gathering spot.

A place some assholes go to to mock sexual orientation, make sexist and racist remarks, mock religion, and bash other people's views.

Where a select few jackasses come to steal your identity with malware.

A place where famous people don't get good salaries.

A semi-successful distraction from television.

A place where you can become famous if you dance like an asshole or make an extremely slow and dull video about unicorns.

There are basically two personalities: really nice people who use "=P" a lot, and jackasses who, as I said before, bash other people's views.

A place where sex is the main discussion.

Sex. SEX.
Guy 1: I went on the internet today!

Guy 2: ...Cool.

Writer of this Definition: I'm feeling kind of apathetic right now 'cause I'm tired. Sorry.=P
by Daniel Day-Lewis September 24, 2008
A series of tubes that lead to a portal to Hell.
That may be the best explanation of the internet yet.
by Charles Cornwallis September 06, 2008

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