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89.
1) A virtual network where people can either conduct e-business or find information.
2) A virtual network where social rejects can act like tough guys and "e-pimps" since their monitor provides protection from the rest of the internet, and the warm glow of the monitor also happens to be the hottest thing they'll ever find in their sex life.
1) I need to find out the weather report for tommorow and directions to get to the plaza on the other side of the state, I'll look it up on the internet!

2) Hahz! I just beat you in counter strike which means my penis is larger then yours!
by hatred April 27, 2003
 
1.
A vast array of pornography and advertisements.
by Cyclone March 03, 2003
 
2.
A vast tundra of knowledge, now corrupted and slowly imploding on itself. Those caught on the outskirts enter a void of stupidity and insecurity. Eventually, it will completely cave in on itself, and then explode with such force, we will all be sent to an information oblivion. Random bits of intelligence will float amongst vast oceans of idiocy, and all of man kind will commit suicide in a futile effort to repent for creating such a weapon of mass destruction. God will not accept their sacrifice, and everyone will go to hell, where Satan will get pissed off at the extreme overpopulation of his facilities, and send everyone to someplace copletely unihabitable, like Utah.
The four horsemen of the apocalypse crashed my unix server. Lol internet.
by The Minus January 17, 2005
 
4.
The term, Internets, is used only when referring to the uber-secret internet used only by Government and Bush cronies, thus plural.

Dear Reader, the internet you are now on is not the secondary one but the primary one invented by Al Gore. You are on the internet versus the internets.
"I hear there's rumors on the internets..."

--George W. Bush at the Presidential Debate
by Lace Valentine October 08, 2004
 
5.
Something President Push hears rumors on. It is suspected that these internets are hidden from the rest of the world, cause we can only find one so far.
"I hear that there are rumors on the...uh...internets..." -Bush
by CSD October 08, 2004
 
6.
A web of confusion, dismay and pornography.
I did a search for 'World History' on the internet and I received 500 results: all pornography.
by Bastardized Bottomburp March 18, 2003
 
7.
welcome to the internet, where men are men, women are men, and little girls are FBI agents.
no one is real on the internet....
by wicked awesome! July 21, 2008