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1.
When you've used the Internet so long, you're beginning to appear to be stoned. Similar to internet coma, except not nearly as serious and you don't need permanent termination of Internet usage, just a quick nap and you'll be fine for the next slug. Notice symptoms:

-Slack-jaw-ness.
-Inability to concentrate.
-Ruined memory.
-Insanity (oh wait we all have that).
Random d00d #1: Did you hear about Derek the other night? Man, was he Internet Stoned!
Random d00d #2: Wha happen?
Random d00d #1: Oh wait you're Derek #&*($&$*(#$&(FUCK

Jenny: Dude, you're totally Internet stoned.
Derek: Huhr?
Jenny: It's like an internet coma except you're only a quarter dead, not all dead.
Derek: Thash nice. Remind me to go to Jenny's house when I wake up. crashes
Jenny: *looks at watch* Great. That's the last blind date I'll ever have.
by Thatguywith2020vision June 23, 2011