| 1. | Holidupe | ||
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To make up an imaginary holiday to take the day off from work; or, claiming to be another religion to get the day off from work.
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| 2. | Bobunk | ||
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An eleven day festival beginning September 3rd and ending September 13th each year in honor of "The Greatest Holiday That Never Was". Bobunk refers to the erasure of an imaginary holiday mentioned by Salem the cat in Sabrina The Teenage Witch, whereby the holiday was literally erased from all time and memory. Festivities for this holiday normally included copious amounts of alcohol, honoring of cats, food, and general merriment. While the third Saturday of November is often stated as the holiday Bobunk, history shows that the year 1752 and the month of September shows actual evidence of 11 days missing (attributed to the Julian to Gregorian calendar switch), and would be more appropriate for "The Greatest Holiday That Never Was" and the story about a holiday that was literally wiped from existence and memory. With the Festival of Bobunk approaching, cats the world over began to stock their liquor cabinets in preparation, as well as aspirin and alkaseltzer for the expected hangovers lasting until New Years Eve.
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| 3. | Crisp Mas | ||
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The 3rd part of Kwanzaa when black people eat extremely crispy fried chicken. The word originates from the english word crisp and the Spanish word mas which means more Black guy - Man I am so disappointed Kwanzaa is over!!!
Me - Dont worry stupid old coon I've added a 3rd part to your imaginary holiday Crisp Mas !!! Black guy - Yay!!! this holiday is just as valid as the rest of Kwanzaa |
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| 4. | cattlepitism | ||
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Well, it used to be pronounced differently
back when the pit wasn't quite so deep, to say nothing of the pendulums. Under the tenets of cattlepitism,
it would appear that material necessities were kept scarce at the lowest levels in order to boost profitability for the highest ones. The invention of electronic blips of currency, in lieu of the actual minted variety, made possible the removal of real value from the commerce of the people who created it to the digit banks of those who exploit them. Imaginary funds were rented to the poor while wavering economic policies created boom and bust cycles of foreclosure or should we say 'garage sales' of property for the moneyed interests who, having commissioned the rules themselves, manage to retain their bonuses, even when times are 'tough' for the people who move more than blips in the course of their workdays. |
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| 5. | Thanksgiving | ||
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A four day “shock and awe” (q.v.) ritual of masochistic excess designed to torture Americans into some form of familial cohesion, usually imaginary. Undertaken as unconscious penance for what they done to the Indians. Oh God! We have to go to my parents' house for Thanksgiving! Honey, where'd you put the waterboard?
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| 6. | Urban Wimp | ||
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An internet addict that scours the Urban Dictionary looking for reasons to be offended.
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The Urban WImp or Urban Coward is an internet addict, usually male, who never leaves a chat room let alone their house. The Urban Coward scours the Urban Dictionary for any definitions it can cry over and make whinging complaints to the management about. This is the only way it can generate emails that are not spam or Nigerians trying to access their benefit bank account. They see danger everywhere and will not log on before donning full combats (including nana knitted vest, bobble hat, mittens and scarf with cute grenade poms poms),tin foil marine commando helmet, and camouflage incontinent pants. They scrutinise the chat room lists lookiing for hidden enemies in disguise and will accuse any room newbie of being an old enemy out to get them. Their main form of defence is attack and the 'enemy'is anyone who gets more than 2 hellos when they enter a chat room or who has the ability to have a meaningful conversation, a life outside the internet or who has the temerity to have a modicum of success in their life. (this excludes the odd (very odd) female sycophants with imaginary horses, holiday homes and husbands who agree with everything they say in case the Urban Coward turns on them, oh and the usual drug addicts alkies who will talk to anyone that isnt going to arrest or section them). The Urban Coward's attacks take the form of whining abuse from the safety of a s... |
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| 7. | Hindustani Sex | ||
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Heterosexual anal intercourse. To be distinguished from 'Punjabi Sex' (homosexual anal copulation).
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Based on the deep-rooted historical prevalence of bisexuality throughout the Hindi belt, in contrast to the largely sodomitic Punjab. Thus, Prakrit-Sanskrit sexological works attest to the popularity of the Irish Way across North India right from the Puranic Dark Ages: "The inhabitants of Kuru (Panjab) prefer anal intercourse ... Those from Madhyadeśa {Madhya Pradesh} are restrained & sexually weak & only attain culmination by anal means. The men & women of Pañchāla {Awadh} are experts in the art of unnatural love, & cannot attain satisfaction except by maukhya & anal means, & artificial aids. The women of Kosala (Uttar Pradesh) {Bihar} also like artificial aids to be used by their men who are not satisfactory lovers." ('The Hindu World' 2 vols. Benjamin Walker. London: Allen & Unwin, 1968, v 2, p 201) The continuing pervasiveness of bisexuality throughout N India down to the present post-colonial age is reflected in 'Chaklet' by Ugra or Pandey Bechan Sharma (Calcutta: Tandon Bros, 1953, 3rd ed). The reason us Hindustani men & women prefer 'Gaand Chudai |
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