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In Jesus’ Official Shit List

An acronym for the popular phrase: “In Jesus’ Official Shit List”. The acronym was originally a part of a larger acronym - HDIFTBIJOSL - which Stands for: “How does it feel to be in Jesus’ official shit list?” This particular acronym was rarely used as people had a hard time memorizing eleven letters and executing them properly without looking like a total idiot. Eventually it was shortened to, IJOSL.

Unlike WWJD (what would Jesus do) which is meant to help an individual make morally right decisions in difficult situations, this acronym is used to inform a person if he/she has done something wrong – something terribly, terribly wrong.

It has not been proven that such a list actually exists – but one can only speculate that somewhere beyond the incomprehensible spectrum of reality; resting on Jesus’ desk, sits a meter long list of names with the word “shit” capitalized across the top most part of the list.

Those unfortunate few who have made the list will not be invited to Jesus’ tea party – Which experts believe will take place just before the apocalypse.

Some notable people who have made the list:
.Hitler
.Kevin Federline
.Judas
.Bill O'Reilly
.Darth Vader(Jesus is a total starwars fanboy)
.Star Jones
.Kevin Federline (yes. Jesus added his name twice. It wasnt a mistake)
.The invisible man turned pervert
.Pontius Pilate
.Paris Hilton
.me (oh crap - what did I do to offend Jesus this time!?)
Oh Judas, dude - How could you nark on me man? Ok thats it - you are now IJOSL!
IJOSL by Narutard Worshipper July 28, 2008
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Loop your iPod headphones wiring around nutsack and/or your one eyed trouser snake, ensuring one complete revolution around the gonads. Once the loop is secured, get another individual to continuously tug on the wiring, thus completing the iJob. iPod music is optional, but to receive the full effect of the iJob, play Celine Dion's "My heart will go on."

Caution: Some individuals have larger ballbags and schlongs than others, so longer wiring may be necessary.
Adam: Yo dude, check out this Florence bitch next to me, she is totally giving me the dirtiest iJob!

Matt: Bro, that’s my mom!

In class, that whore Marie gave me a philthy iJob without even knowing, she kept on tugging on my headphone because I was listening to her favourite Celine Dion song.

Hey dickweed, do I got a story for you or what...I was next to these two fine Pasadena mudsliders and I got the craziest idea. I hooked up two headphones to my laptop, put on “my Heart will go on,” looped both of their wirings around my moneymaker and got the sweetest double iJob EVER.
iJob by JBB2 November 5, 2009
Related Words
ijob Idobs IJOSL ITOBS Dirty Ijob Well iJosh
Term used to loosely refer to any Apple "i" product.

Also contains loose sexual associations with the "money shot"... eyejob.
Yo, Bill! Have you seen the new iJob?
iJob by Jdub4 February 19, 2010
ITOBS: I am tired of being single
Man ITOBS I wish all these hoes and thots weren't messin around I need sumthin serious.
ITOBS by Slimified August 3, 2019
Idobs is not a thing, it's a brand. it is something to say when you're celebrating
Damm ma nigga you are a godamm Idobs are'nt ya
Idobs by FreakyDancer September 25, 2019
A job where they give you a free iPad or iPhone but secretly use the GPS tracking file to keep tabs on you, whatever you do and wherever you go.
It's bad enough you have an iJob, then you go and bring you boss along on our vacation so she can enjoy our sex in the sun vicariously? Where's my sledge hammer...
iJob by BTUBoo June 6, 2011
Idobs is a fag or gay. Fat most of the times nigga
Hey ido ben shachar your idobs
Idobs by LOLIMYALED October 1, 2019