An "If-A-Cop" Story is one that you concoct when you're with a group of friends, doing something you're probably not supposed to, and you want everyone's stories to match up should you encounter some sort of law enforcement while out on your adventure/mission.

The best "If-A-Cop" stories are the simplest ones that answer these 3 questions:

~Where are you (all) going?

~Why are you going there?

and

~Where did you just come from?

The "If-A-Cop" story is ALWAYS discussed and shared with ALL members of the group BEFORE going anywhere and all members are also quizzed on the answers they will give should the "If-A-Cop" story actually be used because you've all been stopped by some sort of law enforcement personnel.

When it appears you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Do not go search for something in the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not speak, or if they speak to you using a voice which is not their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you the grief in the long run. *NOTE* It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go alone.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum or any other house of the dead.
If you are searching for something which caused a loud noise and you find out it's just the cat, leave the room immediatey if you value your life.
If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
Do not take *anything* from the dead.
If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away.
Do not fool around with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
If you're running away from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to c...

Rent-a-cops, security that usually only have "guns" with rubber bullets, if that. They "patrol" schools, concerts, and sporting events, but if there's anything close to a fight, they're out of there like rats out of a sinking ship.

The phrase was coined in Nova Scotia, Canada by snowplow drivers and was originally used solely for pre-911 airport security.

to be taken advantage sexually without receiving money.

If a man becomes Georgiaed, it is highly unlikely he will be able to turn the potential whore out, and he should move on.

Source Iceberg Slim, Pimp: The Story of My Life

when you absolutely assure your friends that you will be in attendance for an event or to help out.. making people believe you are the most reliable person in the world..then you never show up... If you are called out on such an act...you put on the sleepy voice over the phone and pretend you forgot or even make up some unbelievable story to cover your lack of ethuisasm..

Murder machines on wheels. They are used most deadly by women. A common tactic to use this lethal weapon is to ride the car in front of your's bumper. This causes many deaths a year. If you try to pass one, they will speed up, to not let you go in front of them. If you are smart enough to speed up, then cut them off, they will ride your bumper and flicker their headlights and start to chase you. This is why you always bring a bat in your car. You never know if they have a gun with them. To defend yourself against bumper-riders, just jam on the brakes, then let go of the brakes. They will probably get scared and stop. Even though a ton of people commit road crimes, I always seem to find myself getting pulled over after I see someone pass a red light/etc.

fresh prince is a sitcom that is actually named "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" it was popular furing the early and mid 90s but has recently been making a come back. It is known by many people just for its theme song even if you hate the show (how could u hate it???) you still have to love the theme song. The most common lyrics for it are:
Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I become the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In West Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said you're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "Fresh", and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought man forget it yo homes to Bel-Air

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'yo homes smell ya later'
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air

but on the first three episodes they used these lyrics:
In West Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool...