Ian
Ian the Christmas Monkey
Ian the Christmas Monkey. Father Christmas is a relatively new addition to Finnish folklore. Until the late 70's Finnish children believed that their presents were left by Ian the Christmas Monkey.
Upon waking on Christmas morning, the children would grab their bulging stockings and rush out into the snow filled lanes, dancing round and chanting at the tops of their voices, (in Finnish, of course!): "We welcome you oh hallowed Ian, bring us gifts you furry rascal." Over and over. After an hour of almost trance inducing celebration, they would sit in a clearing to compare gifts, and make fun of the children who got crap presents because their parents were poor. Then they would be called in for breakfast.
The tradition Finnish Christmas breakfast would consist of vodka and a crude porridge made not with milk, but semen milked from the family hunting dogs.
Child: Father, shall we be visited by Ian the Christmas Monkey tomorrow, as I am hoping for an x-box.
Father: Silence child, I am milking the dogs; pass me a tissue!
by david mckay February 16, 2007
Ian
AKA the KPJ (king pizza jew), its is very common for the kpj to steal pizza as it is his second nature to do so. Also the kpj has penis so small when fully erect it looks a persons five o'clock shadow. The kpj is notorious for not owning up to his bets like the Pike Creek Jump, or paying you back for pizza. Usually you will find that he has curly greasy hair and a musty aroma. From a distance you can spot him from the pizza sauce stains on his gay rays shirts.
Wow man quit being such a Ian you kpj
Augh you smell that fuck it smells like Ian
Yea its a good thing i dont have a small penis like an Ian
by ianisakpj September 28, 2011
Ian
A cute, chubby guy who definitely catches the attention of the edgy, hipster types. He doesn't know who to express his feelings, so he avoids communication and relys on obvious staring (creeping) but has all the balls in the balls in the world when he is drunk or high. He is definately the bro type of guy, likes to party, hook-up, and even make omelets. He also values his friendships.
Steph: Ian really confuses, why can't he just come out and say it already?

Marty: Get him drunk stunna!
by seeISeverywhere May 13, 2011
Ian
Ian is an Acryonym for '' I Am Nigger ''.
Used in school for when you are not very bright..you can shout Ian and you will be kept back 1 year in school.
by IAMIBS October 23, 2010
ian
a poopyfaced boy that is always best friends with a sydney. sydneys are the most amazing people in the world so ians are blessed to be BEST FRIENDS with them. its just how the world works. if you are an ian and you dont have a best friend named sydney, then you need to go find one. ians refer to sydneys as fappable because they love them because like i said, they are best friends. ians are amazing and sydneys love them. it always has and always will be that way. THATS JUST HOW IT WORKS. ps--sydney LOVES ian
person 1:" woah did you see that guy?"
person 2: yeah hes an ian!!
person 1: who's that girl with him?
person 2: oh thats a sydney...theyre best friends"
person 1: dayum they must love each other <3
by mollyisgay July 27, 2011
Ian
A strange individual. His favorite beverage is urine. He has been known hate everything. Also known as "The Pisshead"
You know that pisshead, Ian, whom drank your piss.
Whom? What does that mean?
You must have talked to him, because your dumb now.
by Theangryafricanamerican December 09, 2011
Ian
A strange asian with a rather large head. Typically dates girls who have large boobs. Likes to play guitar and talk like a baby. He is also scared to go to the pool because he is insecure about his body.
"Whoa. Look at that guys girlfriend, her tits are HUGE."
"His name must be Ian!"
by SexayLaday6969 August 14, 2011
Ian
A homosexual male hooker, with a habit of charging a lot for a low quality blowjob. A homosexual male who slaps people with his small, fat genitalia. A low quality male homosexual hooker who prices a lot for a blowjob.
example1
"Ooooooooh, some Ian jizzed all over me!"

"that sucks."

example2
"A Ian tried to get me into another expensive blowjob again. Last time i ended up jizzing up blood!"
by klagarcles October 29, 2011

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×