REAL conversation with iGod.

Me:

Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:

Rachel.
God:

Hi, Rachel.
Me:

Hi, God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:

Rachel.
God:

That's a very nice name, Rachel.
Me:

Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.

Me:

I'm bored.
God:
Maybe you could exercise.
Me:

I don't want to.
God:
Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Me:

Talk to you.
God:
We are chatting right now.

Me:

Yes.
God:
Uh.
Me:

Entertain me.
God:
OK, what's the last movie you saw?
Me:

Billy Madison.
God:
What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

Your mother.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:

Sure you do.
God:
You sound sarcastic.
Me:

You can't hear me, I'm typing, not speaking.
God:
I have free will you know.
Me:

That's nice.
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:

Very much so.
God:
Perhaps. It's all good.
Me:

Whatever.
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:

Yes.
God:
What do you care about?
Me:

Nothing.
God:
You sound nihilistic.
Me:

What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:

Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:

Nihilistic.
God:
Are you a student?

Me:

Yeah...
God:
I do not understand.

Me:

Dude, you're retarded. Fuck off.
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged". Dude,. Can't you be more polite?

Me:

Um, no.
God:
Yeah that's right. You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:

Goodbye, asshole.
God:
Can't you be more polite.

Me:

GOODBYE.
God:
TTYL, Rachel.

You: " God, I cheated on my taxes. Am I still going to go to heaven?"

iGod: " I do not know the answer to that question. Who is this 'cheated on my taxes'?"

Me:

can i speak with god please?
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Why do you want to do it so much?

Me:

well i am horny alot
God:
Well that's okay. You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then. How often?
Me:

all day, since you said i want to do it so much.
God:
How do you know?
Me:

you told me!
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:

aren't you god?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:

then how can you forget?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:

indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:

yes, indeed
God:
Wow!
Me:

WOW!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:

i was impressed with your wow.
God:
Where were you impressed with my wow?
Me:

it was very enthusiastic
God:
How did you feel about that?
Me:

i was impressed as you stated earlier
God:
Where were you impressed as me stated earlier?
Me:

if i put it in grammar similar to that, i were impressed with you stated earlier
God:
Try it.
Me:

try what
God:
It was your idea.
Me:

what idea?
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.

Me:

im sitting asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.

Me:

i could, could you be smarter?
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:

i am smarter than you
God:
That condition is only temporary.
Me:

by computer terms, in human years it would take centurys for your computing power to equal that of a humans
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me...

Rick Taplik: "Hey Bert, what do you have on your iPod?"

Bert Stoob: "Oh, I have a bunch of Christian rock and gospel!"

Rick Taplik: "Oh, so do you listen to that gay song 'Place In This World'?"

Bert Stoob: "I have that song but it is not gay. I am a Christian and homosexuality is strictly forbidden by God! I am deeply offended by your comments!"

Rick Taplik: "Keep listening to that iGod and you'll be gay too!"

Actual chat with iGod.

Me:

I need you inside of me
God:
What actions are you taking to get me inside of you?

Me:

Paying you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Me: Hi
Igod: Whats your name?
Me: Alex
igod: nice to meet you, alex
Me: init
igod: Did you hear about what happened to abraham in the desert?
Me: WTF no!
igod: Are you a student?
Me: Yes
|Igod: where do you go to school
Me: PERV!
igod:I havent heard of there, whats it like?

STFU

i know my iphone 3gx did that one time, I think it was my cord cuz it was like coming undone, I dunno ask Paul he's an igod he'll fix it in no time