Here are some chuck jokes:
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and...

(exclamation): An alternative form of the phrase "Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ," often used in response to intense anger, surprise, or joy by those who are more scientifically-oriented. Also used by those who have made the observation that tits are no more than blobs of fat on a woman's chest, and there's really no reason why men should be attracted to them.

The Chav is a rare breed of imbecile who communicate to each other through incomprehensible grunts.
They can usually only be fully understood by other Chav's and will rarely acknowledge anybody in a friendly manner out of their own 'crew' with anything other than a firm nod and the occasional "rate" as if to ask the recipient if they are "alright today".

A non-literal term, either mental or spoken. Only used for a single man that implies an emotional and physical connection. Used upon seeing a lady during a situation (short or long term) in which you cannot make immediate contact with a woman. An unfinished desire to talk to her, or a desire to demonstrate your attraction to her - such as in a workplace environment, a passing in a store, mall, bus, a business meeting, subway, freeway, or any other qwik and/or continuous passing environment, or perhaps even on TV.
{ie. 7 of 9 ... Star Trek } Call ME or email me Jeri Ryan! I love you!

Denotes the desire to be able to make a connection and relationship with a woman who has been unavailable over a period of time or just for a minute. Could be a teacher or just ...

a jewish american comedian, often making controversial racial/religious jokes about everyone, including herself. she also makes fun of celebs, her Paris Hilton joke is my favorite.

The Chav is a rare breed of imbecile who communicate to each other through incomprehensible grunts.
They can usually only be fully understood by other Chav's and will rarely acknowledge anybody in a friendly manner out of their own 'crew' with anything other than a firm nod and the occasional "rate" as if to ask the recipient if they are "alright today".

Is the most eastern province in Canada. Joined confedertation in 1949 by a politician Joseph Smallwood. We are not the most naive, ignorant, "deformed" or retarded people, as some of you believe. Newfoundlanders do talk fast with an accent, it's because we live on an island and everybody else understands it, so why can't you? We have some of the best common sense in the world, we don't say "eh" like the rest of Canada, it's more oftenly said as "eh b'y". Some of the best workers live here, not all of us are unemployed, even though Newfoundland would have been better off as its own country, there are still jobs here.
Some of the greatest scenery in Canada is here, along with it being one of the most romantic places. Also most of the population isn't old people, not everyone likes fish, and some people don't even own boats. There's even people here who can't swim. We live in houses not igloos, most of them are bigger and cheaper than what you can get in other places in Canada, and we have what's so wanted, waterfront property. Not everyone drinks before noon on a weekday. Even though we have some of the coldest weather in Canada, we still go swimming in the summer, the people here are used to it. P.E.I. is the same, you don't complain about that? Not everyone loves hockey, but some appreciate the sport. We all don't own old three wheelers (that's an ATV by the way) or drive '57 chevy's. We don't date our cousins like the rednecks in other places and some of the most gorgeo...