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The doom of this planet.
"Humans are nothing but fucking viruses with shoes."
by Crapper McGee March 27, 2004
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2
A fictional race of Argonimorphic apes, presented in books, movies, tales and in the real life. Humans are warm-blooded, soft-skinned, flat-faced, ugly mammals, who tent to make things that are beautiful ugly. The apes are rather unintelligent (the average intelligence quotient is 100), their main obsessions are domination, copulation (population over 6.600.000.000 and is still growing, it probably will until the apes run out of food, this obsession can also leads to deviations, which is some sort of a psyche decease or highly dangerous side effect), social integration (the more friends they have - the better it is). They are treacherous, best not to trust them. The aggression level is so high that they can't get on without killing each other, every excuse is good to start a military conflict, or at least humiliate the opposing side and show one's domination over the other side. Also, humans are very weird, for example, in a face to face contact to communicate you have not only use words, but also mimics, gesticulation and the so called, overall "body language". All in all, they have a tendency for over expression of their feelings, yet sometimes they seem to have no real feelings at all or have extremely shallow feelings. Some of them also believe in "faith", which is a thing that serves as an excuse for their mistakes and wrong life decisions. Most of the human governments, if not all of them, are Kleptocratic.

Humans also have very weird sense of beauty, they consider ugly things (for example: snow mountains) as "breath taking". In most cases they can't even use the simplest logic. Paradoxically, everything in their life must be in a perfect order, everything must have a number, a name, every single item has its very own place in their homes, work places or wherever. They also like lots of entertainment and they can't remain serious when required. It is also worth noticing that in the human societies the Emotional Quotient (also known as EQ, also known as inter personal intelligence or emotional intelligence) is far more important than the actual Intelligence Quotient, in other words: it's better if you are charming than if you are intelligent. Humans have created over 3.000 languages and there are more than two hundred countries. The reason why humans don't want to unite is unknown, although they use excuses such as "culture", "languages" and few other things. In human societies being cynical is perceived as a disadvantage, a bad element of personality. Humans are also very ignorant and arrogant.

A very good example of their ignorance is fiction they create. For some unknown reasons they think that other sentient races - if they, of course, exist, are exactly same as them. A perfect example of this are the fan-made Argonian related modifications for the video game The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, where humans are showing their lack of most basic knowledge and logical reasoning by mistaking reptiles with mammals et cetera.

The only hope for stopping this madness is the nuclear weapons arsenal, which is possessed by some countries, such as Pakistan, India, France, United States, China, United Kingdom or Russia.

Note: This is not a sarcastic entry.
You piece of human!
by Tekeeus March 21, 2008
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3
Chimpanzee: This planet might actually be pretty cool if those pompous, pretentious, selfish humans weren't running around like they owned the show. Wait, I'm an animal... how the hell am I talking?
by TheVoiceOfReason June 25, 2005
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4
Craziest, Weirdest creatures God ever made. They are stupid and clumsy. All they do is kill other animals, kill each other and them selves, use each other as sex toys and then they fight about religion, ethnicity, and race. Oh ooh, “wigger” “WIGGER!” eh, UH! Wapanese, WAPANESE! DAMN! A human is a fucking human! Who fucking gives a shit about race? Is that all humans do? Insult each other, kill each other… They sure as hell not getting as far as we are. They’re too busy making fools of themselves.
Human: Stupid...

Alien: You think everything is stupid.
by Anonymous pig June 30, 2004
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5
A particularly noisy and destructive type of talking primate, having long since forgotten its place in the scheme of things, which is currently set about the task of permanently altering the biosphere of Earth in order to render it incapable of supporting life.

This talking primate alone suffers from a debilitating kind of self-reinforcing gullibility and delusion that results in an almost immovable self-importance and dualism. This condition causes humans to over-populate, over-consume and render their own environment uninhabitable.

It is theorised that humans, so afflicted, are attempting to self-soothe their collective unhappiness by committing mass suicide. Two such attempts are recorded in their recent history. Success in this effort would secure the place of humans in the category of "evolutionary cul-de-sac."

A small minority of humans exist in varying states of liberation from this delusional state. However, said minority is generally ignored by the larger civilization.
If you're annoyed by this definition, it's because you're a human.
by Zontar the Destructor February 27, 2004
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6
A species of idiots that, unfortunately, WE ALL belong to.

"Humans are complete and utter buffoons."
by Nanakase September 29, 2003
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7
When God decided to destroy the world.
What better thing to send in than humans?
by Blue Ruse August 08, 2006
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