If you are bored with convential masterbation techniques then another option is to purchase a honey dew melon or any delicious seedless variety of the melon persuasion. Once accomplished bore a hole through the surface of the melon in question usin any tool available. Then put the said melon in the microwave for 1:35 on medium power, use your descretion(some like it hot). Once the temperature is just right insert your reproductive extremity in the melon. Hump as needed until desired effect. Once your hot load has been transplanted in the melon, call up some friends(preferably female) and invite them over for some fruit salad. Cut up the used cum recepticle into bite-size pieces and serve to the guests with either iceberg lettice or traditional cool-whip(as season dictates). Trust me your friends will love it! Half will probably say they've had it before. Enjoy!
I served up my world famous honey dew delight last night to President Bush. I had to make a second batch!