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1.
homosapiens conservatissphincterus

A member of the Hominoidea superfamily of primates including apes and homosapiens sapiens. Although clearly human-like in appearance, DNA testing has revealed that the homosapiens conservatissphincterus is more closely related to Homosapiens neanderthalensis.

The homosapiens conservatissphincterus retains many of the Homosapiens neanderthalensis’ behaviorisms and lacks the social development and interaction skills of the more advanced homosapiens sapiens.

Inability to understand complex problems, inability to extend altruistic or sympathetic actions beyond the immediate tribe and the inability to distinguish between reality and fantasy are common characteristics displayed by Homosapiens conservatissphincterus.

Scientists are still trying to figure out how the two species, homosapiens sapiens and homosapiens conservatissphincterus, are able to breed and produce offspring. The rest of us are trying to figure out why.”
The homo sapien conservatissphincterus thinks children should die if their parents can't afford health care or medical bills.
by Father Fettucinne, FSM March 16, 2010