The comfortable embrace of ones own toilet. The seat cups your cheeks like no other and your feet fall right into place on that chilled tile floor. You know how much noise you can make and that the walls are thin enough that you might need to run some water in an attempt to cover up the sounds you're about to make evacuating that double decker chili cheese dog and half gallon of beer from last night. Not to mention the 4am chimichanga and milkshake from the gas station you just had to have! You know exactly where the lighter and sage incense are for the aftermath..and also that extra roll of hidden toilet paper in case the one that's about to face your dingle berries just isn't enough. All in all..things flow easier when all your ducks are in a row. Don't pretend like you don't know..
My roommate came running into the house and beelined for the bathroom like a bat out of hell. I think he held it in because he wasn't cool with going at his new girfriends house and needed to come home so he could have his home shit advantage.
by carlsbad carlyfornia December 14, 2013