Martha the cat lady: a lust for feline love borders on the psychotic, but don't tell her that, those pussies have claws. Weapon: cats (1/5 chance of rabies)
Lonely Jim: he's quite lonely, that's why he has a large hatchet. Weapon: hatchet
Mike: driven broke by bad investments, and by never having money in the first place, mike turned to drugs. Weapon: bath salts (1/5 chance to OD)
Yoda: you can't tell me this guy isn't homeless, i mean... look at him. Weapon: lightsaber
Bjord: after he won world's greatest beard, he gambled away his fame and fortune. Weapon: miscellaneous items drawn from his beard.
Join these beloved characters and more in the epic new game Homeless Calibur, where the objective of the game is to get the legendary sock full of shit, which has been said is the key to taking down the government and finally liberating the oppressive nature of the system we have all been condemned to.
Where the fuck is that sock full of shit, Martha keeps raping me with her fucking cats, what a cunt!