He goes on and on about religious bullshit.
me: sdfu holsters
random noob: someone gift me a black key!
Person 1: isn't that a gun?
Jerm: I dunno, chief.
Tim: omg she's the coolest bitch on the planet! If you don't know her then gtfo!
"My girlfriend was having trouble keeping my dick in place when she was on top of me last night so she got her belt and put me in the holster."