Tech Guy: And the Cavaliers swallow!
The HokieBird is an ass-kicking chicken. Actually he's a turkey, but that's not the point. The University would have you believe that "Hokie" is a word made up in 1896 by O. M. Stull in a winning entry in the school's contest for a new cheer. A closer look at the historical record reveals the startling truth that this is a poorly concocted lie created to hide a much larger conspiracy from the student body. University records reveal that in 1896, senior cadet O. M. Stull reported what would be the first of numerous sightings of a giant cartoonish bird in the mountains of southwest Virginia. Stull's commanding officer in the Corps of Cadets dismissed the report as "hokey" (a fashionable term at the turn of the century), and the giant bird soon became known as the HokieBird. Like his friends Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster, the HokieBird is simultaneously feared and adored by most humans. The sightings all report him to be a bird of great strength, great looks, and great intelligence. He has written extensively on chaos theory, nanotechnology, and the worthlessness of the Designated Hitter rule. He leaps tall buildings in a single bound, benches 405 pounds (77 reps against Akron), and has dated Jennifer Lopez, Sienna Miller, and Jessica Simpson. He has won three Nobel Peace Prizes, two Congressional Medals of Honor, and a partridge in a pear tree. He is part mascot, part super hero, and he will kick your ass.
Hokie: ... for going to such a smart school, you're an idiot.
One who outsmarts, outplays, outwhits, outscores, outlives, outdoes, and basically beats the hell out of the University of Viginia Wahoos.
Like all animals and including humans, turkeys consist of diverse populations of individuals with varying degrees of intelligence, physical coordination, colors, etc.
The farmers noticed that about 2-3% of their turkey population consisted of members who were roughly 20% smaller than most other turkeys and these same turkeys frequently had physically deformations and less attractive feather color patterns. Surprisingly, these same turkeys were known to suffer mental retardation and would frequently get themselves killed at young ages by engaging in such activities as drowning themselves in puddles of water or by repeatedly slamming their heads into the ground. And more shocking and rare in the animal kingdom, these same turkeys frequently attempted homosexual activities with other turkeys. When these turkeys were slaughtered and cooked for human consumption, it was noticed that their meat was exceptionally bitter in taste and grainy in texture, thus making them very undesirable in the poultry industry.
These turkeys were called "Hokies".
From the history of the word and understanding the Virgina Tech student population, it should be clear why the school adopted the Hokie as its mascot.
Virginia Tech student: "I be iz in kollege and be learnding for ma edumacation. Go Hokies!"