Hipster-

A contrived identity constructed out of a pastiche of symbols co-opted from bohemian movements of the past, and then reassembled and repackaged. Yet, unlike bohemian subcultures of earlier periods, the hipster lives by no common creed, ethic, or collection of political beliefs. Nor does the hipster offer a unique form of art, music, or literature as groups such as the Beats, Hippies, Yippies, or Punks once did. Rather, the hipster is driven by an effort to cultivate an identity as an end in itself, a persona that will presumably distinguish the hipster from their despised, and over-generalized concept of “mainstream culture.”

Hipster Psychology-

Hipster psychology is born out of experiences of rejection during childhood and adolescence as well as the resultant inability to conform to contemporary social standards. The hipster, as a psychological self defense mechanism, constructs an alternative perspective on culture and identity as a response to their subjective experience of social failure and emotional pain. Rather than accept their own shortcomings at face value, the hipster cultivates a self centered world view whereupon culture, religion, politics, and society as a whole are at fault for all that causes dissatisfaction and frustration. Furthermore, the hipster believes that his or her non-participation in “mainstream” life serves as a form of subversion itself, as well as proof positive of their intellectual enlightenment rather than an obvious demonstration of their failure to adapt. Because arrogance is the shadow of shame, the hipster converts his or her social incompetence into an attitude of superiority, and his or her failure into a disposition of pride.

Consequently, hipster culture presents an “alternative image” that attempts to counter, parody, mock, or even satire their concept of mainstream culture while providing a safe environment that, from afar, collectively gives the appearance of a movement. Thus, hipsters make it their practice to flaunt the photo-negative image of their idea of popular “suburban” culture. For example, if the average person in the suburbs shops in malls, the hipster will buy their clothing in second hand shops. If (over generalized) suburban men drive state of the art sports cars with large engines, the hipster may drive a modest Volkswagen or an old, very undersized subcompact European car such as an early seventies BMW, or better yet, ride a fixed gear bicycle with a sticker exclaiming “One Less Car.”

Because the Hipster loathes above all things to be seen as conventional they, as a rule, don’t work. According to existentialist orthodoxy, “one is what one does.” As a result, the hipster does nothing. The hipster’s lack of participation in any type of career, at least on the surface, functions as an attempt to avoid being characterized as "mainstream." However, upon deeper examination it isn't hard to discover that the hipster lacks the requisite skills to do anything purposeful anyway. Rather, for the hipster, one is as one "seems." And the hipster is very adept at being able to "seem." Seeming requires collecting symbols both material and intellectual and proves much easier on a frail body and psyche than actual work. This is particularly the case when parents help around rent time, if the hipster doesn't already own.

Because the hipster’s life is a lie that they tell to themselves (and don’t believe themselves) they demonstrate a high degree of instability and mental illness which will often be treated by psychoactive medication. Often hipsters will merely self-medicate, particularly if their parents don't pay their COBRA. As a result, hipsters will eventually exhibit behaviors that are truly alternative until they face the fact that their subculture is an elaborate buffer from their fear of non-acceptance and failure.
Hipster Conversation-

Dylan: “Man, I’m so sick of my dad’s whole patriarchal disdain for any sense of leisure.”

Josh: "Yeah, man, tell me about it; I hardly ever get back up to Greenwich anymore for that reason.”

Dylan “Hey bartender, we’ll take two Pabst Blue Ribbons please.”
by Mickey M August 17, 2009
A dedicated fan of "The Tragically Hip", the best band in the whole wide world.
The Hipsters were out of control at the concert.
by grace too February 15, 2005
Douche who misunderstands the concept of irony. Often self-righteous, and thinks he/she are cooler than and have a special knowledge above everyone else. Drink PBR for reasons other than the taste. Don't realize that when the counter culture became the main stream culture (in the 60s), being part of the counter culture makes them part of mainstream culture.
"You wouldn't understand, it's a hipster thing."
"Oh no, I understand. You're a heterofag that thinks they're better than anyone who doesn't share your exact beliefs."
by Guysittinginachair November 08, 2009
Human beings incapable of critical thinking. They think they are different than the rest of society, yet they are all the same. They dress the same, and think the same. They think they are unique individuals who express it through art, but they all have no talent and make stuff that 5 year olds can make. They say us normal joes are sheeple, but the truth is they are the real sheeple.

Hipsters enjoy telling others how different they are from other hipsters. For example: "oh those guys aren't real punk, they are trust fund punk assholes and aren't working class. Damn hipsters!" They also like pretending they are poor as stated in my quote.

They don't like their parents because living in a nice suburbs is bad to them, and having lots of money isn't fun. They are the main cause of gentrification. They think they're progressive and open minded. They want to show how progressive and open minded they are by going into poor neighborhoods and running the poor people out of there. They end up driving the poor folks out of there, and they'll laugh about it because it's ironic.

I pray to God (the one of the judeo-christian tradition you hipsters hate) that the hipster plague will be over soon. Perform performance art on them by getting a post-punk-egyptian-emo CD, cut them up with it, and beat them with those thick noam chomsky books. They'll like it because it's ironic.

If you want your kids to not be hipsters, make sure to beat them when they need to, make sure they major in science, business or math, and make sure they don't take pseudo-intellectual classes like "history of postmodernism." Make sure they never learn the word "postmodern" either.

Also, be cheap! When they graduate, make sure you tell them you aren't supporting their asses. You aren't paying 6 figures for rent for a 2x2 sized room that's rotting in San Francisco or NYC. Make sure to tell them how kids in Africa are starving and are the ones who are REALLY suffering, and tell them starving artists aren't suffering at all. Tell them to love America because other places in the world are suffering more than Americans are. Be sure to tell them Europe and Canada suck (they will threaten to move there if you tell them they can't go to an Emo Death Indie band concert) and that there's racism there among other issues, and it isn't a utopia because of it. Make sure to tell them how superior American Football is to hockey and soccer.

Hipsters will give me a thumbs down for this definition. I know you will, be ironic and give this definition a thumbs up!

Note: I can't prove it, but I will try to donate $1 to the Society of Saint Vincent De Paul, an organization that helps real poor people world wide (not fake poor people like hipsters), and because it's a Christian organization, hipsters will likely hate it. Please note, event though I hate hipsters, I am accepting (not tolerant!) of different view points. Except hipsterism. Fight hipsters and poverty by giving this definition a thumbs up!

Ok I lied. As much as I'd like to help the poor, I need to pay for food. So I can't donate to them. But I know I made some hipsters squirm, and for that I am happy. I can just look at your face, thinking to yourself "should i give this definition a thumbs up? I hate Christians, but I love poor people. I also love irony!"
"man i can't pay rent! how does that idiot HIPSTER afford to pay his rent by painting lines and dots all day? Let's shop at wal-mart to make ends meet, because we are REAL poor people unlike these douches."
by Anti-hipster2K June 15, 2008
The modern "hipster": You have up graded from a "scene kid" to a "hipster". Thrown out your band T-shirts and other neon shit and downed to v-necks, florals, cardigans, geeked up sweaters, and flannel; Making you believe you're the hippest piece of crap out there yet is not aware you're two years too late in the fashion scene. You exchanged your Cash Cash album for a Tegan and Sara one because they're so YOOOONIIICCCKKKKKK and no longer find Hot Topic your favourite store after discovering Urban Outfitters. Art suddenly inspires you, though you have no idea who in the world is Andy Warhol. Photography moves you, though you're moved by any photo that is converted in black and white because you have no creativity. Great job switching the genre of your social scene, you tool.
Person 1: Hey, you changed your style a lot.

Person 2: Yeah, I was all about the scene kid thing but now I'm totally all about the vintage and arts, I'm pretty hipster now. I've growned up a lot and more original, I started wearing these nerd glasses waaaay before everybody. Basically I'm no longer a kid, I've become way more mature in style, music, and mind.

Person 1: ..

Person 2: I even stopped listening to Breathe Carolina and stuff, I'm all about Phoenix, The Black Kids, MGMT, and other of that amazing stuff. Yah know hipsters are just way above scene kids, scene kids are just dumb as heck.

Person 1: ...LOLOLOLOLOL, disconnect the internet and go read a book dude.
by imfake September 25, 2010
a person who tries too hard to be "artsy" and "unique". usually will buy an expensive camera and pretend that theyre a photographer. they usually wear a flannel, thick rimmed glasses with no lense, and tight pants. usually has a blog, probably a tumblr. seems cooler online than they seem in real life. most likely likes the movie "500 days of summer" and listens to the band brand new. pretends to "love the beatles" and might be catholic. hipsters will make a huge deal out of the most miniscule problems in their family life in an attempt to make it seem like they have real problems. many hipsters have pop punk bands which will go nowhere in real life, and bring their friends to their shows. at these shows, they will act incredibly stupid on purpose to get attention and to get other hipsters to think that they are funny or cool. these attempts will usually work because hipsters aren't smart. they usually want or have snakebites, lip, an industrial, small gauges, or their nose peirced. in relationships, hipsters will act really gay and make cute presents for each other out of an inside joke that they stole from a movie or another persons idea. they will tell their friends about it to make their friends think that theyre in a perfect relationship when in reality everyone just wants to gag at their fakeness. do not be fooled, hipsters will make it seem like they're cool and insightful, but theyre whiny, obnoxious,and weirdly insecure.
"woah bro! i really like your flannel! it really matches your tight pants and thick rimmed glasses with no lense!"
"thanks man i got them from urban outfitters! you really like it?"
"no toolbag, you look like a gay hipster."
---
"Do you like Angels and Airwaves?"
"No, im not a hipster."
---
"i <3 tumblr"
"ew, youre a stupid hipster."
by lolasshole April 15, 2010
One who fervently believes they are not a hipster.
EXAMPLE:

Andy: I liked their music before they got all popular and stuff.

Marge: Ha! You're such a hipster.

Andy: No! I am not! Why do people always say that?!

Marge: Dude. You've got black coffee from the grungy café downtown. You're wearing an indie band shirt. You've got glasses like department store windows! You're a hipster.

Andy: IT'S JUST BECAUSE I HAVE ACTUAL TASTE AND YOU ARE A CONFORMIST MORON.
by Grammar 'R Us July 08, 2011
A group of people that think they're so cool just because they're obsessed with triangles, horn-rimmed glasses and stupid outfits that make themselves look like a freaking hobo. They think that they're so induvidual just because they're ugly and have no lives. They also spend most of their day on the computer updating their blogs with entries such as "I'm listening to _______ by this awesome "hipster band" and drinking coffee from this small coffee shop down the street im soooo hIPSTER!!1!".
Hipster Guy: So you went to see the movie Avatar?

Hipster Girl: Yeah it was soooo cool how did you KNOW?!!

Hipster Guy: Well you blogged about it last week && you're wearing the 3D glasses with the lenses popped out

Hipster Girl: Wow you're so deep wanna go to the secondhand store and buy some new clothes, go get coffee and then blog about it?!!?!

Hipster Guy: Hella yeah! Let's go make fun of other people wearing hollister/abercrombie since theyre sooo not hipster like us!!
by me duh lol June 22, 2010

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