A hipstermobile is a form of ironic transportation, used primarily to transport two people -- usually a
hipster and his or her iPhone -- between various locales or events that the
hipster deems to be important. It is a type of bicycle, specifically of a single speed with fixed gears, also known as a "fixie". Often, the bicycle chassis is painted over with a single solid color using spray paint. This eliminates the brand name from the bicycle, which might otherwise clash with the hispter's "local is better" ethos, and also because the spray paint amplifies the
hipster's urban-chic identity.
The
hipster sits on a banana seat closer to the rear wheel of the hipstermobile while the iPhone sits on the handlebar in a specially-designed mount, available through Amazon.com. Whilst pedalling the hipstermobile, the
hipster will issue voice commands to the iPhone. Typical commands include:
"Take a photo of this ironic building and post it to my Tumblr."
"Use
Wikipedia to find a virtually unknown folk band from circa 1982 and then Tweet it to everyone who follows me."
"Is there a free BYOB arts & crafts festival in a two-mile radius of my current location?"
"Go into my draft folder and send that plea for more
money to my parents."
Hipstermobiles are often spotted near cafes and post-gentrification diners, near arts & crafts festivals, and in parks during normal peoples' working hours.
Dude, I just
saw a grown man sitting on the curb
crying. He looked to be cradling an iPhone that had
fallen to its death from the handlebar of his hipstermobile. He couldn't even update his status to tell anyone about what had happened!
