A man you encourage your daughter to date, wed, or procreate with so you have a hedge fund for your non existent social security. Also known as "Fat F@#$%." Guys that have no other redeeming quality than a paycheck. Also see
"Mr. Collins" from Pride & Prejudice.
I used to be worried about my retirement, until my daughter
found her new hedge hog on e-harmony.
I don't know what I would do without my hedge hog fund... I am so glad I decided to procreate when I was 16, now I can retire at 35.
I have a pet hedgehog. His name is Sonic. He ran away and told me I'm too slow.
Although rarely used, it is also known as the tank barriers used by the Germans in World War II. These large, heavy, spikey barriers are mostly known for their use in Normandy, France on D-Day (june 6,1944)
He took cover behind the hedgehog as bullets pelted the sand around him.
v. To attempt (and/or to accomplish) self-felattio (also used as a gerund)
I came home early and saw my son and all his friends hedge hogging by the pool. They said, "It isn't gay if you suck your own dick."
A short, fat woman. Resembling a hedgehog.
I cant stand my job, i cant stand my life, i hate fucking that hedgehog of a wife.
"Awww, look at that cute hedgehog"
A hedgehog is a small thing with prickles on it.
David Attenborough: As you can see, the wild hedgehog waddles from place to place. Note its prickles: sharp objects that act as a defence mechanism against whales.
A seductively elusive male, characterised by nocturnal habits and inconsistent contact. His sexual habits are likely promiscuous, as these woodland critter men enjoy uninhibited roaming across many urban lady gardens
In courtship, Hedgehogs will ward off any overly emotional or overweight advances with sharp spikes of sarcasm and seething disinterest. However, after being drugged with appropriate pussy food, many have been known to enjoy a belly rub and may request their female perform domestic duties such as making a cup of tea.
When Hedgehogs are found in an anti-social ball (characterised by a protrusion of spiny, venomous complaints from the mouth) an approach is not advised. However, if advancement is necessary; compliments, gentle head rubbing and Haribo have been used as semi-successful distractions that may lesser the risks of being emotionally lanced.
Despite their independent and prickly natures, Hedgehogs are often welcomed into many love life habitats, including: taxis, nesting beds, casinos and nightclub terraces. It has been suggested this is due to their wit and handsome, short legs. Whilst Hedgehogs dwell alone, they may be found to emit a distinctive whining noise via voicemail/text message when separated from a mate.
Natural predators include strikingly beautiful, charming females, who find the Hedgehog cute, so smoothing their natural defences with compliments and not too deep sex.