When you die, it is the place you go if you are lucky enough to have selected the right religion. Once there, you will be able to spend an eternity in a Sunday School-like setting. You won't be bothered by the likes of Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, or Thomas Jefferson. Instead, you'll spend your time hanging out with people like Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and Jimmy Swaggart. You'll also get to sing hymns like "Nearer my God to Thee" or "Bringing in the Sheaves." Naturally, non-Christian music will be banned, as will sexual intercourse or inappropriate literature. Your television viewing options will be limited to the ABC Family Channel and HGTV.

These activities will continue for billions of years and will in no way make you wish you were dead.
I can't wait to go to heaven!
by Optimist Ollie December 31, 2008

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Heaven is like the moment of clarity that our souls receive when we die. It spends a lifetime answering all the questions that we never knew the answers to, it makes us see beautiful things that earth cannot provide us with, and people we loved and lost are united with us again. Heaven is everything that we want it to be.

The Christian view seems to me as if you’ll never go to heaven unless you do everything that God supposedly wants you to do and throughout your life you must live free of sin, or at least repent it afterwards. It seems a fairly corrupt system that they seem to use as a guilt trip against us to make us start believing. I know my opinion isn’t important, nor does it have to be believed, but there’s a Heaven for every one of us out there, no matter what we’ve done, I’m sure of it; while we’re here though we can make Heaven ourselves through love and through the beauty around us.

On earth, heaven is a feeling, whilst through death it becomes a place.
1. when i die, i'll go to heaven, cause i've been good

2. i'm so in love with you, it feels like heaven
by Tom Reeves April 02, 2005

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Australia with Barack Obama as prime minister and free beer.
Person 1: When I die I'm pretty sure I'm going to heaven.
Person 2: I heard that's just Australia with Obama running it. And free beer.
Person 1: SWEET.
by Kate.Detweiler January 25, 2009

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Someone who is crazy in every way loves attention Heaven is another word for Godus she's one of a kind of you ever meet a heaven make sure you keep her she loves her friends an loves her family Heaven would do anything for her lived one even if that means taking her own life heaven is kind an very sweet untill you push her buttons an when you push her buttons you better run heaven is an amazing singer but most of the time only sings to her self don't let her fool you with her beauty an her perfect smile she is shy at first but when you get to know a heaven she is the life of the party she loves to dance an make people laugh everyone comes before her an heaven is a loyal person also honest an she had a high sex drive that's the way she will always be if you get a heaven keep her crazy ass.!!
Heaven is a sweet person but is very shy but loved attention
by Handful December 20, 2016

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1- A place in religion, a good place with pearly gates and all that that people go after they die
2- A word said by people that don't want to curse and don't even want to say fake curse words (darn, heck, etc.)
1- Ye have entered heaven
2- My good heavens! What is that?
by whatever works January 27, 2005

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Where the cool people go when they die. It's a concept that scares both the god-fearing man and the athiest. Let's face it... if it didn't, we wouldn't bother defining it.
I sure hope there's no heaven, cuz i won't get to go anyway.
by nephi November 07, 2003

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HEAVEN is a place full of everything, ..... you get sent to hell for!!!!!
Heaven's sake, how can ANYONE be surprised at the news of Justin being gay.
by ms5hellyeah January 08, 2014

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