A hand-held wank is were someone looks at porn on a hand-held device such as ''mobile phone'' or ''I pod/ I phone'' and then pleasures themself to it.

The phantom jerk is performed when one is bored with casual conversation and wishes to cause a disturbance. Essentially, when the speaker enters an excessively boring stretch of context, the listener quickly makes a masturbating motion with one hand, never longer than one second in duration. Eye contact must be held, because the aim is to distract the speaker but appear to not have done anything. The follow-up must be perfect: remain emotionless, because otherwise the speaker will know what's up. They'll often ask what just happened, but the jerk-ee must deny all involvement.

A hankerchief or tissue used to wipe up the semen after having a wank. It can be held over the penis acting like a condom or be used after semen is ejaculated to clean it up off the penis, stomach, floor or any other surfaces it may have splattered onto.

A strange form of masturbation involving squatting on the ground with flat feet with your knees held tighly to your chest. You arm must then go around one of your legs to reach the required organ.

Often done furiously and sometimes in public

(abbreviation)
The 'ATW', otherwise known as the 'Aggressive Techno Wank', is an act of male self-gratification performed in times of energy fuelled masterbation requirement, and generally consists of a combination of one or more of the following:

-loud techno/trance/electro/drum&bass music either played through earphones or speakers
-isolation from other humans (see below for the reasons for this, regarding the ATW dance)
-dimmed, or alternatively disco, lighting
-an arm with a functioning hand for enhanced performance is preferable
-the ATW dance (each ATW participant will have his own version of this depending on preference and practice)

The ATW dance requirements and techniques are outlined here:
-standing up, legs wide apart, knees bent
-one arm held out from the body (much like if one was about to high-5 somebody, or if one was a rodeo rider)
-other arm strategically positioned on the knob
-look of determination/concentration on the face
-tug away for three or four beats of the song (rapidly), then perform the following manoeuvre (known as the 'ATW interchange');
-jump slightly of the ground
-whilst in mid air swap the 'tugging' arm and the 'high-5/rodeo' arm around
-upon landing, carry on for 3 or four beats in the new position and repeat the manoeuvre as many times as desired by the athelete
-isolation is key; flailing arms pose a threat to innocent bystanders

Blow job - when the knob is held with one hand and gingerly sucked on the tip so it looks as if it is being played instead of sucked

The way ':(' is written when one hand is occupied with Texting/Eating/Wanking, and shift cannot be held-down.