Top Definition
The act of defining a previously benign phrase as something vulgar or obscene. Popularized by a the penny-arcade strip 'Prefanity.'
I totally ham doctored Rick Satorum's name!
by m effin dumby July 22, 2009
A word soon to be very, very profane, as flagged by XBox Live's Profanity Prediction team.
"GRAAAAH! HAM DOCTOR!" Marcus shouted when he stubbed his toe. Mothers around him covered their children's ears; they didn't want their kids to hear this soon-to-be vulgarism.
by Skronk July 22, 2009
Future slang for a really, really, shockingly nasty sex act.
"Dude, if she'll let you be the ham doctor, marry her!"
by refriedwhiskey July 22, 2009
In gaming, an extremely derogatory expression describing a stronger, more skilled player who follows and protects weaker players while they play the game.

The phrase references the common knowledge of fat kids getting out first in dodgeball- the noobs are the fat kids of the game, or the "hams".
"Fuck! I almost had that kid until his teammate hit me with a headshot!"
"Tell me about it, man. What kind of sick fucker hits level 50 just to be a Ham Doctor?"
by kabauer July 22, 2009
Obscenely crude and sexual, it is the act in which a man or woman stuffs a woman's vagina with so much clove it'll make her look pregnant -- (Clove being one of the main ingredients in seasoning ham). After she can no longer contain anymore clove the man or woman plays doctor and delivers the clove baby. Thus making him or her the Ham Doctor.
I ham doctor'ed her last night, I'd much rather eat ham than tuna.
by writh3n July 22, 2009
A homosexual male who enjoys anal sex with overweight men.
Cliff's a total ham doctor; always trolling the clubs for the chub.
by LiveThinkTank2 July 22, 2009
A guy whom whose specialty and interest is in picking up morbidly obese women.
"Ugh, that chick with the hottie over there is as big as a house! We need Chuck to run interference on her, he's a real Ham Doctor".
by Gabe Tycho July 22, 2009

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